An Immaculate Conception

I am the Computer, the Computer is Me

2008-03-23T22:34:00.004+08:00

Ok, this is ever-so-slightly, really quite too much. I have been working on my computer since Friday afternoon and it's Sunday night and I've just realised it's Easter Sunday and haven't seen my parents or wished them Happy Easter and I've barely spoken to anyone all weekend and eaten really junky fast food and have not drunk enough water and haven't left the house all weekend! I could really be quite close to burning out, how much work is a human brain physically capable of before it collapses on itself and implodes?

I have this really tight, knotted feeling in my solar plexus. Do you know how it feels when you're choking back tears and the tightness in your throat has travelled all the way down your chest and settled in a constricted knot right at the top of your rib cage? I have this really strong urge to hyperventilate until I pass out.

On the positive side, I have achieved quite a lot over this weekend. Let's see, I have:
- Learnt how to build an HTML microsite and make it autorun when someone inserts the CD (this is for my press kit)
- Designed the cd label for abovementioned press kit cd-rom
- Created a whole new section in Mother for children (called Whippersnapper), including creating all the graphics
- Added 2 new recipes to the main section, and 4 recipes to Whippersnapper
- Learnt how to manipulate the .php.html on my website backend, and revised all the recipe listing pages (big accomplishment, in my eyes!).
- Trouble-shooted and fixed broken links on the website (related to aforementioned php fiddling)
- Completed my accounting "homework" for the bookeeper
- Relocated Robot to Kaki Isles in Second Life

..and listened to this song about 50 times (I'm really not exaggerating) to keep my spirits up.

I'm also thinking of my dear friend V who is also going through a very tough time right now, so this is also dedicated to her.

2008-03-20T17:48:00.004+08:00

Why do my food images change colour when they're uploaded to web?? I must be doing something wrong with my colour management!!

2008-03-13T19:41:00.002+08:00

I'm reading Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and in one of the chapters, a group of friends gather around on Thanksgiving to celebrate a birthday. They end the evening with the American custom of joining hands and saying what they're most grateful for, and as they each articulated their blessings I was moved to tears. That took me by surprise because I haven't had much time to be sentimental this past few months...but I wanted my turn too. So here it goes:

I am grateful to the Universe who has always given me everything I have asked for, and never more than I can bear.

Our First Christmas

2007-12-25T16:23:00.000+08:00

I have never worked so hard in my life! All my friends are out partying for the holidays and here I am on Christmas Day at the office slaving away. I didn't have time to buy a Christmas pressie for the Dolphin, haven't sent any cards...in fact, I haven't even had time to reply to Christmas greetings! I suck!

Am I complaining? No.
Do I look back to the days when I had bags of money and this time of the year would be about buying the best presents and going on fabulous holidays on bizclass with my Krisflyer upgrades? Yes.
But do I regret my decision? Most definitely not.

I was talking to little Kaapi on MSN the other day, and he was asking what I was doing for Christmas to which I replied "working". His response was just one word "Passion."

Yes, it is Passion that fuels this engine. But it's Ambition in the driver's seat. Oh yes, without a doubt.

Merry Christmas, friends.

Trendspotted!!

2007-12-09T11:12:00.000+08:00

New ideas take some getting used to. Your potential customer first needs to understand the premise, then be convinced it's relevant to his/her life, and then try it. It's a process that takes time and during this crucial period of acceptance, it can discouraging because growth isn't as quick as you would hope. Sometimes, I even ask myself if I was wrong and maybe the idea is just fabulous to ME, and no-one else.

So how wonderfully encouraging to wake up one morning to an email from springwise.com, the sister site to trendwatching.com - saying that they would like to feature the NewBiz! I am absolutely thrilled, especially since the NewBiz was randomly spotted and not PR'd. At this vulnerable stage of the business, feedback (both positive and negative) is soooo important and the article on Springwise has given me an extra-large burst of enthusiasm! Now to translate this opportunity into sales....

A big thank you to Lesley-Anne John and Katherine Noyes, whoever you are, for spotting us and taking the time to write about us!

Newton's Laws

2007-10-27T13:37:00.000+08:00

When I first started writing this blog, what I wanted to do was to chart my progress from idea to start-up because I had such a hard time finding any resource that gave me insight. I read so many books but they made so many presumptions. You either had bags of money, or a brilliant mentor, or a VC behind you, or loads of experience, or established supplier relationships, or someone to take that journey with.

I haven't spent much time on this blog lately because it's been so incredibly busy, but I haven't forgotten my desire to share and encourage, so here's a little note on a Saturday afternoon.

I: Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it

Have u heard of the saying "a rolling stone gathers no moss"? I never understood it. I mean, I get it but I don't get why that's a pearl of a wisdom. If you sit still you don't get anywhere. So give yourself a kick in the ass and just start because one thing always leads to another. Doors may close behind you, or even in your face, but they will also open. And when you walk through, you find another one.

II: Force = Mass x Acceleration

Don't be kiasu and afraid to share your ideas. You don't have to give away ALL your secrets, but initiate genuine dialogues. You call everyone, bore people to death with your idea. Watch eyes glaze over but you will meet someone who will say "HEY! That's freaking fantastic, I know this guy and that guy who would love to help".

Always follow up.

I used to think that when I rang suppliers they would be falling at their feet for my business, hey I'm the customer here! Forget that. Not everyone has the time (or inclination) to hold your hand. Suppliers will open their doors to you when they see an authentic prospect. Some random chick on the phone with a vague idea is not a real prospect. Someone with concrete answers, a PLAN is worth considering.

You keep that force constant to gain momentum. You will only go as far as you're willing to work. So yeah, you have to be pretty passionate.

III: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction

Don't lie awake at night worrying about problems. If you're going to sacrifice your precious sleep, then use it to figure out solutions. Every problem has a solution.

Look at the problem from every angle. Look at your assumptions. Look at the situation. Look at yourself.

There is always an answer waiting in the wings. Even if the answer is to cut your losses and move on.

It's physics. Isaac Newton said so :)

Gratitude & Appreciation

2007-10-11T11:40:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a lucky day in my Chinese astrology and with the newbiz website being almost done, I took advantage of my lucky stars to invite close friends & associates to register.

It was a rollercoaster of a day. Adrenaline in the morning, springing out of bed trying to get a million things done. Frantic energy as the hour drew closer. Uncertainty before pressing the SEND button because my friends' opinions mean so much to me. Euphoria when I received postitive feedback. So much gratitude for the support of friends. Anxiety about whether I can really pull this off. Exhaustion as the day drew to a close. Regret that my special someone wasn't here to share it with.

I read countless books about making a business happen, succeeding, autobiogs of famous entrepreneurs. How you need money, or a team, or a mentor, or a great idea. Yes, you do need all of those things, passion, commitment, a certain character....

But at the beginning, what you need most of all is someone who believes in you. Who knows with a fervor that you could do it.

There are many, many times during the process you think "I just can't do it, it's too hard, I'm not good enough, smart enough, strong enough..." Having someone to look you in the eye and tell you "YOU CAN DO IT" and know they really mean it is immense.

So here are my heartfelt thankyous.

My parents for doubting enough to make me dig my heels in.
The Dolphin for never wavering and his unshakeable faith in me.
The MooMoo for dreaming with me.
Jee, Juliet & Shermie for convincing me it was a great idea worth doing.
The Fruitcake for being the most unlikely of mentors and whom I've grown to love dearly.
James & Mark for always being there even when I'm not.
Choko for helping the duckling learn to swim.

Ok, this is not a freaking Oscar acceptance speech.

2007-09-26T17:20:00.000+08:00

Don't mind me, I'm just uploading a picture here to link to another site :P

Sauteed Scallops with a Garlic Parsley Butter

2007-09-22T16:26:00.001+08:00

Mmmmmmm they are as yummy as they look!!

A Short Note After A Long Absence

2007-09-20T16:50:00.000+08:00

It's been so long since my last post - busy, busy, busy!!! I finally finished setting the office up and, well, basically:
- I can't wait to get to work in the mornings
- Sunday sleeps are brilliant because I know I'm going to the office the next day
- I can't BELIEVE that homework is doing stuff like reading food magazines or checking out a great restaurant
- Everyday is filled with new, exciting adventures. Meeting new people, sampling new tastes, learning new techniques.
- I get to take as much time cooking and eating and not feel guilty about it cos it's work!
- I'm sleeping better than I have in ages

I'm as happy as a pig in ****... and I don't know what took me so long to take this leap!!

All the niggledy-piggledy obstacles I encountered on the way were SO WORTH IT!!!

Till the next time here are pix of the office. I promise to update more often!!

Thank you thank you thank you everyone who helped make this happen!!!!! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!!

Courgette & Almond Tangle

2007-08-12T10:57:00.000+08:00

Just a quick post before heading out for brunch with one my favourite friends, M*. He's a real sweetie, everyone needs a friend like him. Gentle, a great listener, critical enough to be able to have a great bitch with, and always there. It's much more than I can say for myself!!

Anyway, a quick recipe before I go. I was reading Smitten Kitchen's blog and came across a post for Deb's favourite side-dish: zucchini & almonds. Well - I LOVE courgettes (zucchini) and I LOVE almonds. They're so good for you, so crunchy...they're like pseudo-crisps! So of course I tried the recipe and it was so-so-SO delish that I had to re-create it into a complete meal.

Just adapt it to your own quantities (I'll get round to proper measurements at some point!). Like Deb says, like more almonds? Chuck more in! I reckon you need 1/2 courgette per person. And it shouldn't be swimming in cream - when you plate there are no puddles! Just a milky moistness...oo-err that sounds a bit rude!

Enough for 1
30 mins prep to mouth
Handful of almond flakes
1/2 courgette, cut into matchsticks
Cream
Tagliolini
Grated Parmesan
Salt & Pepper

- Put pasta on boil
- Chop your courgette into matchsticks. If you like crunch, then big matchsticks. If you like your courgettes more cooked, little matchsticks.
- Toast almonds in olive oil until golden brown and remove from pan. You can skip this step and just continue with the other ingredients, but I like to preserve the crunch for as long as I can.
- Toss courgettes in and fry for 1 minute.
- Season with salt/pepper and remove from heat while you....
- Drain pasta
- Put frying pan back on heat, stir in the pasta with courgettes and then push to side of the pan
- Add cream and slide pan to the side of the hob so only side with cream is hot. Bubble away till cream is reduced.
- Stir almonds, courgettes & tagliolini back through the sauce and toss.
- Sprinkle with grated parmesan.
Inspired by Smitten Kitchen

I might try it with a little lemon juice/zest the next time....

*M is actually, really Aidan from SATC. I'm not kidding!!

Days that Just Are

2007-08-11T14:52:00.000+08:00

Do you ever spend so much time thinking about stuff, that you literally think yourself out? The MooMoo and I had another one of out 12 hour marathon brain drain sessions the other night, and it wrung every neuron out of my head. The next day, I just could not think anymore. Didn't want to! Wandering around Kinokuniya, I rejected any and every book that was more complicated than Nancy Drew or Enid Blyton.

Ugh, just mentally exhausted.

And the day after there is a weird flatline hum in my head. I don't know what I want to do, what I want to eat, what I want to read and most of all, I don't want to see anyone. It's like I'm open for most of the year, but when I'm closed, don't even think about ringing that bell damnit!

Weird. I think at this point, someone in a white coat might recommend I take a pill.

So there I was, lolling around on my bed wondering what I could do so as to not completely waste the weekend, but that wouldn't require climbing out of my pajamas and into people clothes.

Ok, I'll try to figure the Dolphin's camera out. I've been pretty pleased with the pictures I've been taking but they're all random snaps. I don't actually know what I'm doing. I just point the camera, fiddle around with the dials and keep on going until the laws of probability convince me I must have something in the can.

However my bleh state of mind rejected any notion of reading an instruction manual so I did something else I'm very good at - I sponged off someone's else knowledge.

If you go to Flickr, there's a drop down menu called Explore and from that you can pick Camera Finder. From there, you can find your fancy-schmancy camera and search for all the pictures on Flickr that have been taken with that camera. In my case, I was looking for macro shots.

When you've found a great photo you'd like to learn from, scroll down and you'll see on the right a little link under the tags that says Additional Information, and from there More Properties takes you to the EXIF (Exchangeable Image File) data.

From there, I kind of worked backwards until I figured a few things out. I think.

In any case, it motivated me get out of my pajamas to go outside and take some pictures so that's one way to do it!

Truth be told, I think I just want the Dolphin home. It's all well and good being independant and keeping busy, but there's always an empty space where it's hard to smile when he's away.

Jedi blooming. The Desert Rose that was planted on Jedi's ashes. EXIF data here.

I don't know the name of the plant but it's purdy! EXIF data here.

Pattern Recognition

2007-08-05T16:56:00.001+08:00

I like swimming.

It's infinitely better than running and the splish-splash-splish-splash is strangely soothing. I do alot of thinking when I swim so I try to do it as often as I can.

The thing is, no-one taight me how to swim and it's odd because I can't swim more than 3 laps without choking & gasping for breath and needing to take a break. I just accepted it as yet another lame limitation of my inert body.

I usually swim at my parent's pool, and I always start on the same end. I have funny habits like that. Always start on the same end, 2 laps freestyle then 2 laps breaststroke, repeat until I'm choking for air and my heart feels like exploding.

Then yesterday I was paddling around when I decided it was time to do a proper swim. But this time, I started at the other end. I just happened to be closer.

And because I started from that end, my first stroke led with my left hand instead of my right.

And because my I started on my left hand, it meant I took a breath of the third stroke, rather than on the 4th stroke.

And I discovered that.......if I take a breath on the 3rd stroke instead of the 4th, I don't get out of breath so quickly! OMFG!!!!!! I'd been holding my breath for far too along ALL THESE YEARS!!!!

Needless to say I managed to swim for twice as long as I normally do and felt mighty pleased with myself!

So I guess sometimes it's good to do things backwards, the wrong way around, at a different time or in a different way. It changes your perspective and makes you do things differently, sometimes for the better! It's my WHILT for the weekend!

Adding Audio

2007-08-05T14:14:00.000+08:00

Morning! I've had a few requests about how I add audio to my posts so I thought I'd share the Tutorial for Flash MP3 Player. It's eazy-peazy-lemon-squeezy!

And in honour of this post, I'm also going to share one of my favourite songs of all time, Air's All I Need.

All I Need - Air (Moon Safari, 1998)

Huge thanks to Torley Linden who first taught me how to do this and Daytime James for the push to finally post this!

Leftovers: Peanut Butter & Banana Muffins

2007-08-02T12:19:00.002+08:00

*Update: Ok, they're not bananery enough to be called "& Banana" muffins so they're just peanut butter!

Mmmmm leftovers. I really love leftovers! Nothing better than feeling a bit peckish and finding a little tupperware with a smidgen of curry to eat with that last crusty end slice of bread.

However, a fridge full of leftovers is tiresome because there's no more room for the new leftovers. Since I was relatively free today (the renovation guys are on a break of some sort...) I thought I'd clear some room up in the fridge. I had some overripe, spotty brown bananas from the ChocoNanaNut Sarnies, Bisquick leftover from Jack Russell Mania's 5th Annual Party, brown sugar leftover from the Red Onion Jam, some Philadelphia light that was about to go off....hmmm what to make, what to make?

MUFFINS!!

This is quite a mish-mash recipe. I didn't have enough Philly so topped up the balance with butter. Didn't have enough banana so topped it up with peanut butter....so umm...let's have an open mind when it comes to the measurements.

Makes 10 muffins
1 hr prep to mouth
250g cream cheese and/or butter (I used roughly half of each)
1 cup soft brown sugar
1 cup mashed butter and/or peanut butter (I used abt 80% banana 20% crunchy peanut butter)
2 eggs
2 cups Bisquick
1/2 tspn vanilla essence

- Preheat oven to 220 190 degrees Celsius *Thanks Mrs Chavez for the feedback on the temperature!!
- Cream the cream cheese/butter and sugar together until it looks like soft mocha icing.
- Blend in the eggs and banana/peanut butter
- Add the flour and vanilla essence and mix it all together. It doesn't matter if it's lumpy but try to break up the big lumps of flour!

- Spoon into muffin tins and bake for about 20-25 mins until the tops are nicely browned and when you stick a toothpick into the middle, it comes out clean.

Ooohh they're so moist and soft and crumbly...I had one, Higgy had one and I'm gonna give the rest to my mum & dad so they don't have to go and queue at that RIDICULOUS Chocolate & Spice muffin stall where people queue up to buy for their entire neighbourhood so a 8-person queue is actually a 25-person queue AND they want each of their 600 orders packaged in seperate boxes in different permutations!!!!!! Oooohhh people like that make me so mad!!!!!!!

ChocoNanaNut Sarnies

2007-07-31T17:05:00.000+08:00

The rain seems to be getting everyone down....sigh.

I like the rain - it hardly ever makes me feel gloomy. I love the sound of raindrops pattering against my window as I'm falling asleep. Or better yet, waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of torrential downpour and then burrowing in just a little deeper under my duvet and just a little snugglier against the lucky person sharing a bed with me (for the present, it's Mr Higgins!).

Ok, I admit it kinda sucks if you're out on the town having spent 2 hours putting your make-up on and contorting yourself into knots drying your hair in a new filmy see-thru chiffon dress and strappy heels without an umbrella...then the Rain Is Your Enemy.

One of my friends in particular is feeling especially gloomy and thinking about his melancholy almost made me feel down in the dumps so I had to quickly find a way to cheer myself up before that could happen....

Here's the perfect remedy. It's for EMERGENCIES ONLY!!!

ChocoNanaNut Sarnies (makes 2 sandwiches)
20 mins prep to mouth
4 slices of white plastic bread (you know the kind!)
1 Banana
Nutella
Chunky peanut butter
Butter, softened

- Slice the banana WAFER-THIN...as thin as you possibly can
- Butter the slices of bread on the outside
- Spread two slices with Nutella and the other two slices with peanut butter
- Overlap the WAFER-THIN slices of banana onto the peanut butter slices, they should be 2-3 WAFER-THIN layers thick
- Squish the Nutella slice on top
- Get a nice flat bottomed frying pan and heat it up on full power without oil
- When it's hot (drop a little butter on it and it should sizzle right away) put your sandwich peanut-butter side down and then turn the heat down to medium.
- Leave it on for about 3 mins then peek to see if the underside is nice and golden brown.
- Use a pair of tongs to flip the sandwiches over to the Nutella side and squish them down a bit.
- Drop a little blob of butter around each sandwich to make it just that little more unhealthy and buttery! Well ok, you can skip this step if you like.
- Cook till golden-brown and then serve it up with a nice frosty glass of milk.

NUMMY!!!!

And if a ChocoNanaNut Sarnie doesn't work then there's always DB Boulevard's "Point of View" that always got MooMoo and I dancing at Happy!!

Point of View - DB Boulevard

WHILT: Getting the Yolk in the Middle

2007-07-30T19:22:00.000+08:00

When making oeufs en cocotte with a soft filling underneath (like creamed spinach, leeks or duxelles etc) it is SUCH an annoyance when the yolks slip to the side instead of sitting prettily in the middle of the ramekin. It really bothers someone as anal as myself!

Here's a super neat way to get them bang in the middle everytime:

Get a little teaspoon or melon baller and make an indent in the middle of the filling. Then crack your egg over it. The yolk wiggles into the indentation everytime!

Doubtless this is an age-old trick, but I was so thrilled when I figured it out!!

I'm moving my WHILT posts over to its own blog because it will soon take over this one otherwise!

WHILT?

2007-07-29T18:11:00.001+08:00

As in What Have I Learnt Today?

This is going to be a new thing on my blog because...well, because sometimes even I get bored of the sound (sight?) of my own complaining.

It's not that I only learn just one thing a day but there is always something really awesome that I discover during my meanders through cyberspace, or randomly flipping through waiting room magazines. There's always a geeky fact that I think is SOOO cool, or a completely practical now-why-didn't-I-think-of-that trick, or a hysterical nugget of urban insight that would be WRONG not to share!!! Plus, my ridiculous short-term memory needs a space to put them all.

Whilto ergo cogito; cogito ergo sum.
I WHILT therefore I think; I think therefore I am.

Did you know that 1% of the hissy white noise you hear on the radio as you're tuning between stations is actually the echo of the Big Bang?

-Focus Magazine #178 Jul 07, pp 45

Melody

2007-07-26T11:25:00.000+08:00

Up at 5:30am this morning with an idea igniting my veins, couldn't sleep, had to get to my computer to write to my favourite brainiac, Juliet Ceres, whom I met in Second Life when we were both learning to build and who has since surpassed my modest virtual achievements in leaps & bounds....and is quite possibly one of the cleverest people I know (um, present company excluded).

Our SL acquaintance has evolved into an RL friendship and I hope will continue to grow until we can work together in the same physical space!

How privileged are we to benefit from the technology that enables us to become friends with someone thousands of miles away and to make genuine connections with people you've never even met....it's amazing! Love it!

Anyway, it was raining and the Fruitcake was the only person awake at that crazy hour. I wonder why I don't get up at that time more....it's so peaceful and silent. The sky, dark when you first emerge but gradually bleeding into daybreak. The silence of the stars melting into the melodic dawnsong of a hundred birds.

It's a good time to think.

It's a good time to listen to Portishead.

Melody - Portishead featuring Lane Birkin

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

2007-07-23T09:46:00.000+08:00

It's been awhile since I posted updates on the NewBiz.

Topline : I've committed to a location, started renovation and will be able to get on with some real work by August.

The edge of my exuberance has dulled somewhat, especially compared to a month ago when I first signed on for the location.

I've always believed that money is a necessity, but passion & hard work create the adrenaline that keeps you going. I still believe this but my rose tinted glasses have been tempered by reality.

A truth: Money = Time

If you have alot of money, things get done quickly. If you don't have alot, be prepared to scale your timeline and expectations accordingly. I didn't, and searching for a location has been a huge learning. On hindsight, I should have been prepared. Sahar & Bobby Hashemi wrote that it took almost a year to find their first Coffee Republic outlet after they'd secured their funding. I laughed in disbelief at the time, but I sho' ain't laughing now.

With a (very) conservative budget:

You're not a priority with the estate agents and will have to physically drive around looking for places, knocking on doors.
The majority of available property listings are beyond your reach, either in terms of monthly rental, deposits and/or the amount of renovation work needed to get things in order, especially if you need a kitchen like I do.
ALOT of flexibility is required on your part re professional standards.
You can't be picky (no-one's ever praised a persnickety beggar in a proverb)
You have to deal with unsavoury characters because....well...that's the pond you're swimming in.

But here's what no-one tells you in the books - if you're an optimist and haven't prepared yourself for the realities, every pitfall sucks you in. The time spent chasing leads that end at a dead end, starting negotiations over, not being given the time of day, being dismissed as that small fry making so much noise....the sleepless nights, the self-doubt, every dead-end or obstacle translating into endless dialogue inside your head at 4am in the morning.

And to add to the jamboree let's not forget watching your bank digits slide into the grey area between singular and plural, because you had planned on two months MAX without income to set everything up, and you're into your 4th or 5th month... way beyond your buffer, isolating yourself from friends out of shame & pride, eyeing the money you'd put aside for the start-up capital, thinking about going back to your old job and asking yourself over & over how much you really believe in your idea and IS IT FUCKING WORTH IT?!!??

I wasn't prepared for this Vicious Spiral. It's not even a circle because when you come around again you find you're at now Square One, Basement One! I have picked & dusted myself off so many times and on the outside, I'm always ready for the next round. But inside, it feels like I've been compromised. Adulterated. There is a loss of innocence.

It's like seeing snow for the first time, thrilled with the crystalline purity, marvelling at the sparkling magic all around you. Then you dive in, and you realise it's cold. And you're not dressed warmly enough. And the snowflakes are dirty. And it's deeper than you thought it was. And there's something brushing against your legs that you can't see.

I recognize that beast so well now, I can smell it approaching. Fear.

Now is the time to ask yourself how much you want it. If you're truly passionate, and you've done your homework and your intentions are pure then get ready for the fight. Lean into the problem and brace yourself. Fear separates the weak from the strong. It's natural selection.

So:

Pick your allies and recognize your foes early on. I have been naive and far too trusting. I didn't respect the environment I was in, I was like a goldfish trying to make friends with pirhanas. It was my ego in a way, thinking I could charm people into doing the right thing. I will not make that mistake again.

Keep your values safe. Bend, but don't break. That's a whole lesson in humility - to get fucked and not be tempted to bring out your biggest, blackest, spikiest dildo and fuck them right back in the ass. Ok, I admit I'm always tempted but I try very, very hard not to do it (but here's a tune for those moments of weakness).

Cock the Hammer - Cypress Hill (Black Sunday, 1993)

Don't let your pride corrupt your intentions. It's tempting to lose sight of your goal, your perspective changes and your pride makes you greedy to prove all of them wrong.

Value your allies, now more than ever. You find one diamond in every 100 useless piece-of-shit pile of dungstone so treat them well. If you have managed to retain your integrity, you will recognize each other. If they're a supplier/provider then pay them as much as you can afford, and pay them first. I have met some real gems throughout this process - my designers (esp Jee who enthused with me right from the beginning, and offered help without being asked), my lawyer (who has refused payment despite my protests), my contractor (who has been as inconvenienced as I have but always wants to help) and the Fruitcake who, a stranger until recently, has so generously volunteered as a sounding board and shown a huge vote of confidence by offering partnership. I will value all these connections for life.

Learn from the bad eggs. Remember their lessons because one day you will be a Big Person and you will come across a Little Person so you should know what not to do. This is also a good time to differentiate between professionals and amateurs. Professionals will do their best no matter what the price.

Be realistic about what your money can buy and don't be discouraged by the truth. Make it work. Scale down. Stripped naked, a great idea should still be great. Focus. Be single-minded.

Don't get greedy. Desperation will do that to you. Don't be tempted to beg, borrow & steal by luring investors under false pretences to dilute your gamble unless there's a genuine advantage for everyone. Responsibly managing risk is about being assiduous with everyone's exposure, not just your own.

Treat everyone with respect, even the assholes, because that's just good karma.

And last but not least, appreciate the ones who love you and support you. Our problems always suck the best out of us leaving dregs for the ones waiting on the other side of the pillow. That's not the way it should be.

I leave you with one of my favourite TV commercials of all time, Apple's "Think Different".

Of course, if you've got tonnes of money then skip this epic post and go make another million instead.

Culinary Canine : Stelline alla Signor Higgins

2007-07-16T19:30:00.000+08:00

Yeap, I pamper my pooches. It's true what they say about owners projecting themselves onto their animals - I can't bear looking at Mr Higgins eating the same type of food day in, day out, how immensely boring!

We've also been so concerned about all the pet food recalls arising from unethical manufacturing processes in China that we've switched to holistic kibble and I need the assurance of knowing exactly what little Higgy is eating in his moist food. We lost Jedi a few months back to kidney disease, just as the recalls hit the headlines and we've never been sure if it was due to his food.

So I cook Mr Higgins a little feast at the beginning of the week and then mix it in with his dry kibble, about 1 portion of cooked food to 2 portions of dry (not the other way around as much as Mr Higgins begs me to!)

I also double-check all the ingredients in my Natural Health Bible for Dogs & Cats to make sure everything is good for the tubby poochums.

Ingredients for 1 greedy French bulldog for 1 week
Prep 45 mins prep to bowl
3 cloves of garlic, minced
4 rashers of streaky bacon, chopped into little bits
500g chicken mince
2 skinny carrots (or 1 fat one), diced
Grabful of peas
100g stelline soup pasta
A lump of cold butter as big as a matchbox

- Start boiling some water without salt in a saucepan, enough to cook the pasta in but not so much it takes an hour to boil.

- Splash a bit of olive oil in another saucepan and fry the garlic and bacon until it's cooked but not crispy (pink vs brown)
- Add the chicken mince and stir fry until cooked through. Using one of those wooden fork spatulas help break up the clumps into smaller bits.

- By the time the chicken is cooked, the water should be boiling so chuck the stelline in.

-Add the carrots to the chicken mince and stir around for a couple of minutes
-Add the peas, stir and then turn the heat down low (about 1 or 2) and put the lid on.

- When the pasta is cooked, don't drain the pasta in a colander but rather get a ladle out and scoop the pasta out of the water, draining it a little against the side of the pan, and then adding to the chicken mince. You want some water to add moisture to the mince because who doesn't like a bit 'o ggrrraaaaaavy????
- Mix the pasta into the chicken and check that there's enough liquid. When you press the mince down with your ladle, the hole should fill with liquid.
- Put the lid back on and let it simmer for about 10 mins or so.
- Stir the lump of cold butter in and then it's done.

- Ladle a spoonful into the doggy bowl to cool down, and store the rest in the fridge for up to a week. I normally just get a scoop out into the bowl an hour before feeding time, it'll be room temp by the time it comes to mixing it with the kibble.

Higgy LOVES it. He's horny as hell after he's eaten.

Oops, have I said too much????

PS: The Dolphin is back to the seas tomorrow and I've been learning to use his camera! You like? I'm going to be better than him when he gets back - 'ees not 'appy!

A Very Drunk Cherry

2007-07-15T15:38:00.000+08:00

That would have been me last night, so I suppose it's appropriate I'm posting about boozy cherries today.

My Fruitcake tells me black cherries are in season. How I love a plump, juicy, arterial blood red cherry, they remind me of London when I was little. Mum used to buy us a pound of cherries from the wheelbarrow man, rustling in their brown paper bag and warm from sunshine. I'd bite them in half and then squeeze the remaining half with my fingers, letting the juice run down my arm and imagining myself in some horror movie. I was a morbid little freak.

Anyway, I'm all grown up now and I still love cherries - the only difference is now I get to eat them with rum!

Ingredients
1 day soaking, 2hrs prep to mouth
Cherries with their stems
Dark rum
Your favourite dark chocolate, about 1 square per cherry - I like Lindt's bittersweet

- Prick your cherries all over with a toothpick and put them in a container with a lid
- Pour dark rum over them until completely submerged, cover with lid and leave them in the fridge overnight. Soaking them for 1 day gets them quite boozy. I soaked them for 3 days, had a couple for breakfast and then had to go back and lie down for abit!

The next day(s),
- Find a small saucepan and a bowl that will sit on top of it like this. The smaller the bowl, the better unless you're melting a mountain of chocolate and planning to take the next week off work.
- Fill the saucepan halfway with water and bring to boil.
- Place the bowl on top of the saucepan and break the chocolate into it

- Take the cherries out of the rum and wipe them dry.
- Find a plate large enough for all the cherries and lightly oil the surface with a mild-flavoured oil like sunflower and then pop the plate in the freezer while you prep the chocolate

- By this time, the chocolate should be melting so keep stirring it until it's all melted and lovely and glossy
- Take the plate out of the freezer
- Pick a cherry up by its stem and dip it into the chocolate, gently swirling it around until it's all coated
- Drop it onto the plate and repeat with the other cherries
- Pop it in the fridge and try not to obsessively check to see if they're ready. It'll take at least an hour.

There'll be chocolate left over in the bowl, and I NEVER like to see good chocolate go to waste so make chocolate milk by adding a little milk to the melted chocolate, stir until incorporated, add a little more and stire and keep doing it until the chocolate is very runny. Then you can pour a big glug in until it's as chocolately as you like.

And of course one mustn't forget the lovely cherry flavoured rum left over! Make a Rum & Cherry Coke by pouring a big sploosh of cherry rum into a glass, top with Coke and garnish with a......chocolate rummy cherry!

VermBol

2007-07-14T14:21:00.000+08:00

My mum is/was a lawyer and worked very hard when my sis and I were growing up. My Popo looked after us, did all the cooking and she was proper oldskool - she's the whole reason for my cooking = love philosophy.

When mum did cook on the rare weekend, she usually made spagbol and Shaz and I would go mad! It would be a whole day affair, starting with supermarket shopping in the morning and prep after lunch, followed by an entire afternoon of simmering which would fill the apartment with stomach-gurgling smells. Shaz and I would sneak tastes of meat sauce all afternoon, burning our tongues and always taking care to smooth over the telltale gouges our teaspoons would make.

When dinnertime came, mum would lift the lid and our thievery would be so obvious. There would be a crusty red line on the side of the pot, and the meat sauce would be sitting about 2 inches below it.

My bolognese is such a bastardisation of the classic ragu alla bolognese because it's based on memories from those times. I have also been influenced by those mafia movies like Godfather where there's always an Italian mother hovering in the background cooking up pots of big RED pasta sauce. I have never been to Bologna. I don't like spaghetti because I prefer a thinner pasta that holds more sauce. I like alot of meat sauce. My mum has never liked too much acidity so I use milk to balance out the tomatoes (consistent with an authentic ragu in this case). I like alot of tomatoes, it's gotta be red red RED. And there are mushrooms in it because mum always put them in her sauce.

These days it's the Dolphin sneaking spoonfuls from the pot, and mum doesn't need to make spaghetti bolognese anymore because I make it for her.

Ingredients for 4 hungry people
1 hr prep to table
Olive oil
1 medium white onion
4 cloves garlic
500g beef mince
Splash of milk
3 bay leaves
1 pinch of dried basil, oregano and parsey
1 can Hunt's Tomato Puree
1 can Napolina chopped tomatoes
1 beef stock cube
200g mushrooms
2 bunches fresh basil leaves
Parmesan

1/2 pkt dried vermicelli pasta

- Chop the onions and garlic up really fine and fry in olive oil until soft and translucent
- Add a bit more oil, enough to see a very thin puddle on the base, and add the beef mince
- Using a wooden fork, stir it around, breaking up the big bits until it's brown and crumbly
- Add a glug of milk. Enough to throughly moisten the meat but not enough to create a pool
- Add the chopped tomatoes, tomato puree and dried herbs (bay, oregano, dried basil, parsley)
- Put a little hot water into the can of tomato puree and add the beef stock cube. Dissolve it, stirring up all the sticky bits of puree left in the can and add it to your beef.
- Add the sliced mushrooms.
- Give everything a good stir and add freshly ground black pepper.
- Turn the heat down low (to 1 or 2, so it's juts making little bubbles) and put the lid on, leaving a crack and simmer for 30mins*.

- Bring a pot of water to boil and cook the vermicelli according to instructions on the packet.
- While the pasta's cooking, chop your fresh basil up. I usually pluck the leaves into a small glass and then use kitchen scissors to snip it in the glass.

- When the pasta is done, switch heat off, drain and put back into the pot on the hob to steam the water away.
- Take the lid off the meat sauce and sprinkle the fresh basil into the bolognese, leaving a little for garnish.
- Taste the sauce and salt/pepper if needed.

- Scoop a big ladle of bolognese into the pot of vermicelli and tong it around until all the pasta is covered in a little sauce.
- Plate the pasta, add more sauce over the top and lots of fresh Parmesan.

Good, honest grub.

*Simmering 30 mins is good, an hour or so even better. But if you're hungry, just simmer till the pasta is cooked - it'll be good enough to eat!

Peking Rectums

2007-07-11T13:19:00.000+08:00

"Waste not, want not", said the hungry Singaporean.

Link to ieatishootipost's review on Peking Rectums

Geekdom!!!!

2007-07-11T11:29:00.000+08:00

Click to enlarge

Wow! Geek Discovery of the Week!

Matt Bites' nerd post linked to Edwin Tofslie's Apple evolution chart and it's frickin' amazing!!! I lost my virginity with the Apple IIe in 1983 - what about you??

A Bit of Comfort : Mushroom Soup with Bacon Croutons

2007-07-10T22:33:00.000+08:00

Another month has gone by and when it comes to finding an office, I've come a full circle....except the knots are tighter in my neck and my 8am out-of-bed-bounce is considerably less springy.

I barely slept last night, thoughts running around my head like a Bull Terrier with CCB. After this evening's discovery that I'd been gazumped on Location B, I decided to forego my usual hair-pulling with a culinary escape to one of my favourite comfort foods, Mushroom Soup.

Who doesnt feel nostalgic about a big bowl of mushroom soup? I grew up on Campbell's, always using milk instead of water. So the Dolphin took me to the 24hr Cold Storage at Holland Village (there are some interesting characters to be found by the freezer section at night!) to stock up.

But first, a list:

My Popo likes her mushroom soup with lots of shitake
My dad loathes butter or cream in savoury dishes (but will devour a cream cake or croissant in a blink)
My mum likes her soup dark and full of bits
I'm not a big fan of shitake, but agree that its addition makes it more mushroomy
The Dolphin prefers his mushroom soup hearty but not gloopy
I think bacon and mushrooms are a lovely combination
My sis probably likes hers without mushrooms but she's not here, so tough!

Here's a version that I hope will please everyone.

Ingredients for 2 generous bowls, or 4 people on a diet (whatever!)
45 mins prep to table
1 sprig of rosemary, just the little leaves
1 sprig of sage
1 medium white onion
3 cloves of garlic
20g of butter and 25ml of olive oil

2 punnets (approx 400g) of button mushrooms (caps & stems)
150g of fresh shitake mushroom, caps only (the stems are usually too dry)
1 can of chicken broth
1/2 can of milk (I used semi-skimmed)

3 slices of streaky bacon
Some bread (preferably old, but nevermind if its not)

First,
- Get a large saucepan, sprinkle a bit of water in it and put it on the heat at full power.
- When the water sizzles, disappears and the pan is perfectly dry, throw in the butter. When it starts to froth, add the herbs and then olive oil.
- Turn the heat off and let the herbs infuse while you prep the rest of the stuff.

- Finely slice the onions and garlic.
- Finely slice the mushrooms. I used my mandoline to get them really fine. You'll end up with a small mountain, but it reduces all the way down.

- Turn the heat back on until you hear the herbs sizzle then add the onions and garlic. Cook till the onions become translucent, but not brown.
- Add the mushrooms and mix everything up, getting the onions off the base
- Cook for about 5 mins, or until the mushies have reduced and given up their lovely mushroomy stock.
- Add the chicken stock and milk, then turn the heat down low and simmer with the lid on for 30 mins.

In the meantime,
- Preheat oven to 180 degrees Celsius
- Splash a little olive oil in a frying pan and gently fry the bacon on medium heat until the fat renders and the bacon crisps but don't let it burn. Turn the heat off and remove the bacon, leaving the flavoured oil.
- Cut your bread into your favourite crouton sizes. I like lots of little ones. The Dolphin likes big ones. I usually do it my way.
- Toss the croutons in the oil. You just want to coat them evenly, not soak them until they go translucent.
- Lay them out on a layer of foil (or a baking tray) and pop them in the oven on a high shelf. Check after 10 mins to see if they're brown. If not, leave them a bit longer but keep checking them!
- Eat the crispy bacon on the sly.

- Check your soup when 30mins are up and taste for salt/pepper. Season accordingly.
- If you've got a food processor, whiz it around till it's smooth. Or pulse for more texture. However you like. Or use an immersion hand blender like me (I still haven't really figured out how not to splatter hot soup when I use it).

- Pour into bowls, drizzle with a little cream and sprinkle the croutons over the top. It's even yummier the next day...but who can wait?

You can make this a whole lot fancier using dried porcini, morels, truffle oil, sherry etc...but this is more than good enough for everyday. And I sho' do feel a lot better!

An Observation Insight Honest Truth

2007-07-09T22:17:00.000+08:00

One of the disadvantages of being short-sighted is forgetting that just because you can't see someone, it doesn't mean they can't see you.

Chuck it on the Barbie: Red Onion Jam

2007-07-07T18:29:00.000+08:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/8977832@N08/746050421/

So James says "I've got loads of meat" and at first I think he's referring to something else, but then I get he's talking about the bbq.

I offer to make an onion jam cos that goes with everything, and they never give you enough at the restaurants!

Ingredients for an Island Creamery ice cream tub approx 500g
1 kg red onions
100ml olive oil
120g soft brown sugar
2 tspns of salt
6 cloves
3 sprigs of rosemary
2 bay leaves
75ml of red wine vinegar
100 ml white wine

Ok, you should REALLY get a mandoline if you want to make this because slicing 1kg of onions is 1) boring; 2) tedious; 3) dull and 4) dreary.

- Peel and finely slice all those bloody onions
- Put the sliced onions and olive oil in a wok or a big heavy based frying pan and TURN THE HEAT ON!
- When you start to hear everything sizzling dash back to the hob and give everything a stir
- Alternate stirring the onions and drinking the other 650ml of wine until the onions look soft and translucent
- Add the brown sugar, vinegar, wine, herbs, cloves, salt - everything else, basically
- Stir it in
- Turn the heat down low, about a quarter of full power and let it bubble away for about an hour. Don't cover it cos you want the liquids to evaporate and leave a gooey caramel
- When most of the liquid has disappeared and the onions look brown, sticky and like the picture, they're ready!

Delish with...everything. Steaks, sausages, cheese, cheesey toasts, pate, pork. venison ... good with animals, basically.

It's the yummiest onion jam I've ever had! It'll keep for about 2 weeks in the fridge. Next time, I'm going to try a version with blasamic balsamic vinegar and red wine.

Chuck it on the Barbie: Whiteley Potatoes

2007-07-07T17:06:00.000+08:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/8977832@N08/746050461/

My favourite friends, James and Erin, are having a BBQ today which I'm really looking forward to. I wonder if they're trying to entice me out because I have been an elusive little bookworm this past few weeks (months)!

It's been a bit of a tradition to bring potatoes round to James' whenever he has a get-together because of Owen a.k.a "Jamo I've Embarrassed Meself" so I'm bringing....er...potatoes.

I don't know what to call this, so I'm calling them Whiteley Potatoes. Not least because they're salty and extremely well-seasoned. But also because of James.

Here's the recipe. I don't use weighing scales so I hope you'll understand the descriptions!

Ingredients for 6 : 1 hr prep to table
6 Russet Burbank potatoes about as big as your fist
8 button mushrooms
8 honey tomatoes
10 pitted black olives
2 red onions
4 cloves of garlic
1 packet of McCormick Grill Mates Montreal Steak Marinade

1 chargrilled red pepper*
1 chargrilled green pepper*

3 stalks of spring onion
2 stalks of chinese parsley (just the leaves)
1 handful of coarsely grated parmesan
Olive oil

- Preheat the oven grill to 250 degrees Celsius
- Cut your bell peppers in half and throw away the seeds & white bits
- Put them under the grill as close as you can to the heat element, skin side up

Then:
- Get a big baking tray out, or just use the one that came with your oven (wash it first!)
- Scrub the potatoes and chop them into your favourite sized chunks. I like them about as big half my thumb-ish. Then throw them in the baking tray.
- Halve the button mushrooms. If they're really big, then quarter them. They shrink so don't make them too small! Put them in with the tatties.
- Chuck in your honey tomatoes
- Cut the onion into chunks and add them in
- Smash your garlic with the bottom of a wine bottle (or anything weighty!), peel away the skin and chop off the woody crusty whatchmacallit at the end. Then add them in the mix.
- Cut each olive in half and add them in (or leave them whole if you prefer)
-Sprinkle the McCormick seasoning onto the crazy mix
- Glug olive oil all over....I don't know how much...enough to coat everything nicely but not have it swimming in a bath!
- Use your hands and mix everything together until it's all shiny and glistening and spread everything out in an even layer

Then:
- Check the peppers and see if the skins have gone all black. If they have, take them out and put them in a little plastic bag. I just reuse the one from the supermarket that I bought the peppers in. Close the bag with a twirl and leave them aside to steam

Then:
- Turn the oven down to 200 degrees Celsius
- Slide the potatoes and stuff into the oven on the topmost rack
- Set a timer for 15 mins

In the meantime,
- Snip the spring onions and chinese parsely leaves into a bowl
- Have a glass of wine or go watch Oprah for a bit

When the timer goes off 15 mins later,
- Get a flat slotted spatula thingy and turn everything over
- Set the timer for another 15 mins

Then:
- Take those steamy chargrilled peppers out of the bag. You should be able to slip the black skins off really easily now. Don't worry if there are bits left, it's just a bit of carbon! They give you carbon pills when you've got the runs so it can't be all bad. Whatever you do, don't wash the peppers. That's just foolish!
- Slice them into slivers and pop them back into the bag where there'll probably be some juices left

When the last 15 mins are up, go back and look at the tatties. Take them out if you think they're sufficiently brown. Or leave them for a bit longer. I like them with a golden crust. The Dolphin likes them like Peter Andre. You decide!

Then pour everything into a serving bowl. Add your spring onions and parsley. Add the chargrilled peppers. Throw in the handful of parmesan. Give a few vigorous twists of the pepper grinder. Salt if you must. I had a muscle spasm and ovesalted my tatties . Better to undersalt than oversalt, believe me - my lips are still pruney.

Then get a flat serving spoon and fold everything together. Don't stir like a madman otherwise it'll turn into babyfood (which would be useful for the morning after a night at James'). Fold. Like scoop and turn, scoop and turn, scoop and turn...

Eat.

*If you don't have time to buy chargrilled peppers, they're available at the deli counter. But they're a complete ripoff!!! A fresh red pepper costs $7.30/kg and a chargrilled red pepper from the deli counter costs about $40/kg. I'd rather go without the peppers and get a better bottle of wine! And so should you!

Do these instructions seem complicated? They're not - it takes 45mins prep to table. 1hr max if you keep going to the fridge for another glass of wine.

I hope my friend Shermie isn't reading this, he'd freak at the commercial spice mix. I couldn't be arsed to pound my own. I will the next time.

A Trip to Melaka

2007-07-06T08:00:00.000+08:00

The family and I had made the little trip across to Melaka in search for antique Peranakan tiles and we had a lovely time. I wouldn't stay more than one evening because it's a sleepy little town, but it's a fun day out, and only 2.5 hours from Singapore.

Melaka is famous for Peranakan culture, architecture and food. We went on a weekday, but save your trip for the weekend when the pasar malams, or night markets, are on.

My mission was to admire the 19th century shophouses and to search for vintage pieces for the NewBiz.

My dad's mission was to hunt down the authentic cendol from his youth, but he was pretty disappointed . So I'm going to make it my new mission to make him some from scratch! I wonder how I'm going to make the "green worms"? I read somewhere that oldskool street hawkers in China, when the need to make thin strands of dough arises, they pack a mouthful of raw dough in their mouth and squirt strands out through the gaps in their teeth.

I think I might just use a potato ricer!

Anyway, I digress.

The best place for antique shopping is Jonker Street because there are loads of shops and many of the shophouses have been beautifully restored.

Unfortunately, most of the antiques were well beyond my budget. A real shame because there were loads of funky finds! Here's a great shop with oldskool lighting fixtures...

But back to the tiles. There are basically two kinds : the glazed ceramic tile which are mostly used for walls, and the hardier floor tiles. The price differential is substantial!

Glazed wall tiles (on the left) can cost up to RM$150 per piece depending on its condition. The floor tiles on the left cost about RM$20 per piece. I need about 10 metres worth, so guess which ones I'm going for!

We went to practically every shop in Jonker Street, Heeren Street and Jln Tun Tan Cheng Lock, Abdul Company had the best selection of both tiles by far. Most shops would have about 10-20 tiles. These guys had hundreds, if not thousands!! The glazed tiles are out front, and the floor tiles are in the back. BE WARNED, if you're going to see the floor tiles bring loads of mozzie spray. I'm not being a princess here, the tiles are stored in a dusty shed and there are as many mozzies are there are tiles. The Dolphin and I got into a bit of an argy-bargy because the mozzies were annoying us so much. We couldn't get out of there fast enough, which was a shame because you should really be able to spend time picking the right tiles, and checking the condition of each piece.
We also found a shop, Lagenda, that does great reproduction tiles. They've got a good selection, but you need about 3 months lead time. Each tile costs RM$15 but I'm sure that's negotiable!

We called it a day after the Mosquito Shop, and in typical Lim fashion went in search of food. I've heard so much about Famosa Chicken Rice Balls but after trying them, I don't really get it. The rice came as a plate of oily, glistening balls and they looked pretty ick to me. All I could see in my head was a fat man witha dirty sarong, squatting in front of a bucket of rice and rolling those rice balls with his sweaty palms.

Here's a screengrab from their (pretty impressive) website! Did they really say "sweat flows down to earth like a river"? Do they actually mean "sweat flows down to earth like a river....and into our chicken rice balls"? Ew.

There was a teahouse on Jonker Street we really wanted to visit cos it looked sooo pretty, but it was closed :( If anyone passes through and has a chance ot check it out, let me know what it's like!

Finally, some tasty retro goodies to bring back as souvenirs and sustain us on the drive home...

From top left: authentic gula melaka, kai chai peang (little chicken biscuits),
gula tarik kok kok candy, tau sar pneah (not technically a Melakan treat!),
coconut candy, nonya pineapple tarts (in plain and pandan), coconut and durian dodol

Be Careful What You Wish For

2007-07-02T13:03:00.000+08:00

...the Universe will give it to you. It may not be on your terms, and it will almost always require a sacrifice, but when you recognize the gift that has been sent your way then your eyes will open to the countless blessings that surround you.

The question is : How badly did you want it in the first place, and was it worth everything you gave up to get it?

Sometimes I wish I could be content with a simpler life.

Here's a tale of the macabre to start your week, taken from American Literature. Try to enjoy it :P

THE MONKEY'S PAW
BY
W. W. JACOBS

"Be careful what you wish for, lest you receive it." - Edgar Allen Poe

Part I

Without, the night was cold and wet, but in the small parlour of Laburnum villa the blinds were drawn and the fire burned brightly. Father and son were at chess; the former, who posessed ideas about the game involving radical chances, putting his king into such sharp and unnecessary perils that it even provoked comment from the white-haired old lady knitting placidly by the fire.

"Hark at the wind," said Mr. White, who, having seen a fatal mistake after it was too late, was amiably desirous of preventing his son from seeing it.

"I'm listening," said the latter grimly surveying the board as he streched out his hand. "Check."

"I should hardly think that he's come tonight, " said his father, with his hand poised over the board.

"Mate," replied the son.

"That's the worst of living so far out," balled Mr. White with sudden and unlooked-for violence; "Of all the beastly, slushy, out of the way places to live in, this is the worst. Path's a bog, and the road's a torrent. I don't know what people are thinking about. I suppose because only two houses in the road are let, they think it doesn't matter."

"Never mind, dear," said his wife soothingly; "perhaps you'll win the next one."

Mr. White looked up sharply, just in time to intercept a knowing glance between mother and son. the words died away on his lips, and he hid a guilty grin in his thin grey beard.

"There he is," said Herbert White as the gate banged to loudly and heavy footsteps came toward the door.

The old man rose with hospitable haste and opening the door, was heard condoling with the new arrival. The new arrival also condoled with himself, so that Mrs. White said, "Tut, tut!" and coughed gently as her husband entered the room followed by a tall, burly man, beady of eye and rubicund of visage.

"Sargeant-Major Morris, " he said, introducing him.

The Sargeant-Major took hands and taking the proffered seat by the fire, watched contentedly as his host got out whiskey and tumblers and stood a small copper kettle on the fire.

At the third glass his eyes got brighter, and he began to talk, the little family circle regarding with eager interest this visitor from distant parts, as he squared his broad shoulders in the chair and spoke of wild scenes and dougty deeds; of wars and plagues and strange peoples.

"Twenty-one years of it," said Mr. White, nodding at his wife and son. "When he went away he was a slip of a youth in the warehouse. Now look at him."

"He don't look to have taken much harm." said Mrs. White politely.

"I'd like to go to India myself," said the old man, just to look around a bit, you know."

"Better where you are," said the Sargent-Major, shaking his head. He put down the empty glass and sighning softly, shook it again.

"I should like to see those old temples and fakirs and jugglers," said the old man. "what was that that you started telling me the other day about a monkey's paw or something, Morris?"

"Nothing." said the soldier hastily. "Leastways, nothing worth hearing."

"Monkey's paw?" said Mrs. White curiously.

"Well, it's just a bit of what you might call magic, perhaps." said the Sargeant-Major off-handedly.

His three listeners leaned forward eagerly. The visitor absent-mindedly put his empty glass to his lips and then set it down again. His host filled it for him again.

"To look at," said the Sargent-Major, fumbling in his pocket, "it's just an ordinary little paw, dried to a mummy."

He took something out of his pocket and proffered it. Mrs. White drew back with a grimace, but her son, taking it, examined it curiously.

"And what is there special about it?" inquired Mr. White as he took it from his son, and having examined it, placed it upon the table.

"It had a spell put on it by an old Fakir," said the Sargent-Major, "a very holy man. He wanted to show that fate ruled people's lifes, and that those who interefered with it did so to their sorrow. He put a spell on it so that three separate men co uld each have three wishes from it."

His manners were so impressive that his hearers were concious that their light laughter had jarred somewhat.

"Well, why don't you have three, sir?" said Herbert White cleverly.

The soldier regarded him the way that middle age is wont to regard presumptious youth."I have," he said quietly, and his blotchy face whitened.

"And did you really have the three wishes granted?" asked Mrs. White.

"I did," said the seargent-major, and his glass tapped against his strong teeth.

"And has anybody else wished?" persisted the old lady.

"The first man had his three wishes. Yes, " was the reply, "I don't know what the first two were, but the third was for death. That's how I got the paw."

His tones were so grave that a hush fell apon the group.

"If you've had your three wishes it's no good to you now then Morris," said the old man at last. "What do you keep it for?"

The soldier shook his head. "Fancy I suppose," he said slowly." I did have some idea of selling it, but I don't think I will. It has caused me enough mischief already. Besides, people won't buy. They think it's a fairy tale, some of them; and those who do think anything of it want to try it first and pay me afterward."

"If you could have another three wishes," said the old man, eyeing him keenly," would you have them?"

"I don't know," said the other. "I don't know."

He took the paw, and dangling it between his forefinger and thumb, suddenly threw it upon the fire. White, with a slight cry, stooped down and snatched it off.

"Better let it burn," said the soldier solemnly.

"If you don't want it Morris," said the other, "give it to me."

"I won't." said his friend doggedly. "I threw it on the fire. If you keep it, don't blame me for what happens. Pitch it on the fire like a sensible man."

The other shook his head and examined his possesion closely. "How do you do it?" he inquired.

"Hold it up in your right hand, and wish aloud," said the seargent-major, "But I warn you of the consequences."

"Sounds like the 'Arabian Nights'.", said Mrs. White, as she rose and began to set the supper. "Don't you think you might wish for four pairs of hands for me."

Her husband drew the talisman from his pocket, and all three burst into laughter as the Seargent-Major, with a look of alarm on his face, caught him by the arm.

"If you must wish," he said gruffly, "Wish for something sensible"

Mr. White dropped it back in his pocket, and placing chairs, motioned his friend to the table. In the business of supper the talisman was partly forgotten, and afterward the three sat listening in an enthralled fashion to a second installment of the s oldier's adventures in India.

"If the tale about the monkey's paw is not more truthful than those he has been telling us," said Herbert, as the door closed behind thier guest, just in time to catch the last train, "we shan't make much out of it."

"Did you give anything for it, father?" inquired Mrs. White, regarding her husband closely.

"A trifle," said he, colouring slightly, "He didn't want it, but I made him take it. And he pressed me again to throw it away."

"Likely," said Herbert, with pretended horror. "Why, we're going to be rich, and famous, and happy. Wish to be an emporer, father, to begin with; then you can't be henpecked."

He darted around the table, persued by the maligned Mrs White armed with an antimacassar.

Mr. White took the paw from his pocket and eyed it dubiously. "I don't know what to wish for, and thats a fact," he said slowly. It seems to me I've got all I want."

"If you only cleared the house, you'd be quite happy, wouldn't you!" said Herbert, with his hand on his shoulder. "Well, wish for two hundred pounds, then; that'll just do it."

His father, smiling shamefacedly at his own credulity, held up the talisman, as his son, with a solemn face, somewhat marred by a wink at his mother, sat down and struck a few impressive chords.

"I wish for two hundred pounds," said the old man distinctly.

A fine crash from the piano greeted his words, interupted by a shuddering cry from the old man. His wife and son ran toward him.

"It moved," he cried, with a glance of disgust at the object as it lay on the floor. "As I wished, it twisted in my hand like a snake."

"Well, I don't see the money," said his son, as he picked it up and placed it on the table, "and I bet I never shall."

"It must have been your fancy, father," said his wife, regarding him anxiously.

He shook his head. "Never mind, though; theres no harm done, but it gave me a shock all the same."

They sat down by the fire again while the two men finished thier pipes. Outside, the wind was higher than ever, an the old man started nervously at the sound of a door banging upstairs. A silence unusual and depressing settled on all three, which last ed until the old couple rose to retire for the rest of the night.

"I expect you'll find the cash tied up in a big bag in the middle of your bed," said Herbert, as he bade them goodnight, " and something horrible squatting on top of your wardrobe watching you as you pocket your ill-gotten gains."

He sat alone in the darkness, gazing at the dying fire, and seeing faces in it. The last was so horrible and so simian that he gazed at it in amazement. It got so vivid that, with a little uneasy laugh, he felt on the table for a glass containig a lit tle water to throw over it. His hand grasped the monkey's paw, and with a little shiver he wiped his hand on his coat and went up to bed.

Part II

In the brightness of the wintry sun next morning as it streamed over the breakfast table he laughed at his fears. There was an air of prosaic wholesomeness about the room which it had lacked onthe previous nighrt, and the dirty, shriveled little paw was pitched on the side-board with a carelessness which betokened no great belief in its virtues.

"I suppose all old soldiers are the same," said Mrs White. "The idea of our listening to such nonsense! How could wishes be granted in these days? And if they could, how could two hundred pounds hurt you, father?"

"Might drop on his head from the sky," said the frivolous Herbert.

"Morris said the things happened so naturally," said his father, "that you might if you so wished attribute it to coincedence."

"Well don't break into the money before I come back," said Herbert as he rose from the table. "I'm afraid it'll turn you into a mean, avaricious man, and we shall have to disown you."

His mother laughed, and following him to the door, watched him down the road; and returning to the breakfast table, was very happy at the expense of her husband's credulity. All of which did not prevent her from scurrying to the door at the postman's knock, nor prevent her from referring somewhat shortly to retired Sargeant-Majors of bibulous habits when she found that the post brought a tailors bill.

"Herbert will have some more of his funny remarks, I expect, when he comes home," she said as they sat at dinner.

"I dare say," said Mr. White, pouring himself out some beer; "but for all that, the thing moved in my hand; that I'll swear to."

" You thought it did," said the old lady soothingly.

"I say it did," replied the other. "There was no thought about it; I had just - Whay's the matter?"

His wife made no reply. She was watching the mysterious movements of a man outside, who, peering in an undecided fashion at the house, appeared to be trying to make up his mind to enter. In mental conexion with the two hundred pounds, she noticed that the stranger was well dressed, and wore a silk hat of glossy newness. Three times he paused at the gate, and then walked on again. The fourth time he stood with his hand upon it, and then with sudden resolution flung it open and walked up the path. Mrs White at the same moment placed her hands behind her, and hurriedly unfastening the strings of her apron, put that useful article of apparel beneath the cusion of her chair.

She brought the stranger, who seemed ill at ease, into the room. He gazed at her furtively, and listened in a preoccupied fashion as the old lady apologized for the appearance of the room, and her husband's coat, a garment which he usually reserved for the garden. She then waited as patiently as her sex would permit for him to broach his buisiness, but he was at first strangely silent.

"I - was asked to call," he said at last, and stooped and picked a piece of cotton from his trousers. "I come from 'Maw and Meggins.' "

The old lady started. "Is anything the matter?" she asked breathlessly. "Has anything happened to Herbert? What is it? What is it?

Her husband interposed. "There there mother," he said hastily. "Sit down, and don't jump to conclusions. You've not brought bad news, I'm sure sir," and eyed the other wistfully.

"I'm sorry - " began the visitor.

"Is he hurt?" demanded the mother wildly.

The visitor bowed in assent."Badly hurt," he said quietly, "but he is not in any pain."

"Oh thank God!" said the old woman, clasping her hands. "Thank God for that! Thank - "

She broke off as the sinister meaning of the assurance dawned on her and she saw the awful confirmation of her fears in the others averted face. She caught her breath, and turning to her slower-witted husband, laid her trembling hand on his. There was a long silence.

"He was caught in the machinery," said the visitor at length in a low voice.

"Caught in the machinery," repeated Mr. White, in a dazed fashion,"yes."

He sat staring out the window, and taking his wife's hand between his own, pressed it as he had been wont to do in their old courting days nearly forty years before.

"He was the only one left to us," he said, turning gently to the visitor. "It is hard."

The other coughed, and rising , walked slowly to the window. " The firm wishes me to covey their sincere sympathy with you in your great loss," he said, without looking round. "I beg that you will understand I am only their servant and merely obeying orders."

There was no reply; the old womans face was white, her eyes staring, and her breath inaudible; on the husband's face was a look such as his freind the seargent might have carried into his first action.

"I was to say that Maw and Meggins disclaim all responsibility," continued the other. "They admit no liability at all, but in consideration of your son's services, they wish to present you with a certain sum as compensation."

Mr. White dropped his wife's hand, and rising to his feet, gazed with a look of horror at his visitor. His dry lips shaped the words,"How much?"

"Two hundred pounds," was the answer.

Unconcious of his wife's shriek, the old man smiled faintly, put out his hands like a sightless man, and dropped, a senseless heap, to the floor.

Part III

In the huge new cemetary, some two miles distant, the old people buried their dead, and came back to the house steeped in shadows and silence. It was all over so quickly that at first they could hardly realize it, and remained in a state of expectatio n as though of something else to happen - something else which was to lighten this load, too heavy for old hearts to bear.

But the days passed, and expectations gave way to resignation - the hopeless resignation of the old, sometimes mis-called apathy. Sometimes they hardly exchanged a word, for now they had nothing to talk about, and their days were long to weariness.

It was a about a week after that the old man, waking suddenly in the night, stretched out his hand and found himself alone. The room was in darkness, and the sound of subdued weeping came from the window. He raised himself in bed and listened.

"Come back," he said tenderly. "You will be cold."

"It is colder for my son," said the old woman, and wept afresh.

The sounds of her sobs died away on his ears. The bed was warm, and his eyes heavy with sleep. He dozed fitfully, and then slept until a sudden wild cry from his wife awoke him with a start.

"THE PAW!" she cried wildly. "THE MONKEY'S PAW!"

He started up in alarm. "Where? Where is it? Whats the matter?"

She came stumbling across the room toward him. "I want it," she said quietly. "You've not destroyed it?"

"It's in the parlour, on the bracket, he replied, marveling. "Why?"

She cried and laughed together, and bending over, kissed his cheek.

"I only just thought of it," she said hysterically. "Why didn't I think of it before? Why didn't you think of it?"

"Think of what?" he questioned.

"The other two wishes," she replied rapidly. "We've only had one."

"Was not that enough?" he demanded fiercely.

"No," she cried triumphantly; "We'll have one more. Go down and get it quickly, and wish our boy alive again."

The man sat in bed and flung the bedcloths from his quaking limbs."Good God, you are mad!" he cried aghast. "Get it," she panted; "get it quickly, and wish - Oh my boy, my boy!"

Her husband struck a match and lit the candle. "Get back to bed he said unsteadily. "You don't know what you are saying."

"We had the first wish granted," said the old woman, feverishly; "why not the second?"

"A coincidence," stammered the old man.

"Go get it and wish," cried his wife, quivering with exitement.

The old man turned and regarded her, and his voice shook. "He has been dead ten days, and besides he - I would not tell you else, but - I could only recognize him by his clothing. If he was too terrible for you to see then, how now?"

"Bring him back," cried the old woman, and dragged him towards the door. "Do you think I fear the child I have nursed?"

He went down in the darkness, and felt his way to the parlour, and then to the mantlepiece. The talisman was in its place, and a horrible fear that the unspoken wish might bring his mutillated son before him ere he could escape from the room seized up on him, and he caught his breath as he found that he had lost the direction of the door. His brow cold with sweat, he felt his way round the table, and groped along the wall until he found himself in the small passage with the unwholesome thing in his hand.

Even his wife's face seemed changed as he entered the room. It was white and expectant, and to his fears seemed to have an unnatural look upon it. He was afraid of her.

"WISH!" she cried in a strong voice.

"It is foolish and wicked," he faltered.

"WISH!" repeated his wife.

He raised his hand. "I wish my son alive again."

The talisman fell to the floor, and he regarded it fearfully. Then he sank trembling into a chair as the old woman, with burning eyes, walked to the window and raised the blind.

He sat until he was chilled with the cold, glancing ocasionally at the figure of the old woman peering through the window. The candle-end, which had burned below the rim of the china candlestick, was throwing pulsating shadows on the ceiling and walls ,until with a flicker larger than the rest, it expired. The old man, with an unspeakable sense of relief at the failure of the talisman, crept back back to his bed, and a minute afterward the old woman came silently and apethetically beside him.

Neither spoke, but lat silently listening to the ticking of the clock. A stair creaked, and a squeaky mouse scurried noisily through the wall. The darkness was oppressive, and after lying for some time screwing up his courage, he took the box of match es, and striking one, went downstairs for a candle.

At the foot of the stairs the match went out, and he paused to strike another; and at the same moment a knock came so quiet and stealthy as to be scarcely audible, sounded on the front door.

The matches fell from his hand and spilled in the passage. He stood motionless, his breath suspended until the knock was repeated. Then he turned and fled swiftly back to his room, and closed the door behind him. A third knock sounded through the house.

"WHATS THAT?" cried the old woman, starting up.

"A rat," said the old man in shaking tones - "a rat. It passed me on the stairs."

His wife sat up in bed listening. A loud knock resounded through the house.

"It's Herbert!"

She ran to the door, but her husband was before her, and catching her by the arm, held her tightly.

"What are you going to do?" he whispered hoarsely.

"It's my boy; it's Herbert!" she cried, struggling mechanically. "I forgot it was two miles away. What are you holding me for? Let go. I must open the door."

"For God's sake don't let it in,: cried the old man, trembling.

"You're afraid of your own son," she cried struggling. "Let me go. I'm coming, Herbert; I'm coming."

There was another knock, and another. The old woman with a sudden wrench broke free and ran from the room. Her husband follwed to the landing, and called after her appealingly as she hurried downstairs. He heard the chain rattle back and the bolt draw n slowly and stiffly from the socket. Then the old womans voice, strained and panting.

"The bolt," she cried loudly. "Come down. I can't reach it."

But her husband was on his hands and knees groping wildly on the floor in search of the paw. If only he could find it before the thing outside got in. A perfect fusillade of knocks reverberated throgh the house, and he heard the scraping of a chair a s his wife as his wife put it down in the passage against the door. he heard the creaking of the bolt as it came slowly back, and at the same moment he found the monkeys's paw, and franticly breathed his third and last wish.

The knocking ceased suddenly, although the echoes of it were still in the house. He heard the chair drawn back, and the door opened. A cold wind rushed up the staircase, and a long loud wail of dissapointment and misery from his wife gave him the courage to run down to her side, and then to the gate beyond. The streetlamp flickering opposite shone on a quiet and deserted road.

I Heart Love Lard

2007-06-30T21:59:00.000+08:00

My family and I were sitting around the dinner table and debating what animal we would choose to eat forever if we had to pick one. The Dolphin chose lamb. My dad picked chicken (I think). But my mother and I, we picked the wonderous PIG.

Oh....how we love a good oinker. You could eat pig for a year and never repeat a dish. Stephane Reynaud has dedicated an entire tome to this bountiful creature.

And one of my favourite pig products is....CHU YAU CHAR, or pork fat rendered till it's crispy. OMG it's soooo decadently unhealthy and if my mum's around, I have to ask for it in a whisper and quickly camouflage it with my noodles otherwise I get a real earful.

Look, I believe in being good 85% of the time, and saving the other 15% for things like whipped cream on your Frappuccino. And french fries. And extra butter and clotted cream on your scones. And a good british banger (or four). ......and crispy pork fat!

Pork lard is a global heritage. Delicious Days has a yummy german recipe, the Filipinos have their chicharon, the British have their pork scratchings. It's a veritable offering for world peace!

Mmmmm.... Top Five Favourite Things to eat Chu Yau Char with:
Malaysian Hokkien Mee
Hong Kong Street Milky Fish Soup
Bak Chor Mee, or pork noodles
Wonton Mee
On it's own when mum's not looking

And guess what, Beyonce totally agrees!!!

The Drama Continues...

2007-06-29T18:28:00.000+08:00

In the space of a week, two great locations have opened up and an angel in disguise has miraculously appeared.

Which location will I take?? Will I accept the angel's generous proposal? Stay tuned for the next episode of The Amazing Technicolour Start Up!

Thanks for sending the Dramatic Chipmunk link, Carol xxx

Travelling

2007-06-28T00:13:00.001+08:00

I've been spending so much time in the car this past few weeks looking for property. The Dolphin, who is almost as obsessive as I am, has been playing the same cd over & over - DJ Mitsu the Beats' Extra Feeding 2.

I want to remember this challenging time and since music is the only way I know how to time travel, I'm posting my favourite tracks from the mix cd here. Enjoy :)

The Look of Love Pt.1 (J-88), Jazz Set Pt.1 (DJ Mitsu the Beats), Worsse Way (Tableek)

PS: It's official. I am the worst backseat driver in the world, if not the universe. Thank you.

Vocabulary Lessons

2007-06-27T12:22:00.000+08:00

My most excellent friend joke-forwarder, Harmony, recently sent a list of new words for 2007. Here are my faves:

* TESTICULATING
Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.

* BLAMESTORMING
Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

* SEAGULL MANAGER
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

* ASSMOSIS
The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

* CUBE FARM
An office filled with cubicles.

* SITCOMs
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".

* SINBAD
Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.

* ADMINISPHERE.
The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file.
Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.

* 404
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found" meaning that the requested document could not be located.

* OH - NO SECOND.
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just Made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all').

Scariness

2007-06-26T20:25:00.001+08:00

Popo on the left, with her sister Tai Yi Po

We were at dinner tonight and were sitting round having a post-prandial chat when we heard a crash and saw my Popo tipping over backwards and falling to the floor. The frickin chair had broken under her.

Scariest. Moment. Ever.

Luckily she wasn't hurt but my heart literally stopped.

My darling friend Jess sent me one of those chain emails the other day. You had to answer a bunch of questions about yourself and forward the answers along to your entire inbox and cross your fingers no-one would get a digital restraining order against you.

Anyway, one of the questions was "what are you most afraid of?" I answered: Getting tortured by being poked in the eyeballs. Mediocrity. Losing my mind. Not being good enough. Not being able to realize my dreams.

But I take those answers back, my Numero Uno Fear of all time is losing a loved one for eternity, my Popo especially. It's beyond my control, and inevitable but....I can't even bear to think about it. It's like a dark, pulsating blob at the back of mind. I know it's there, but I dare not acknowledge its existence.

My stomach is churning even writing about it.

Wilf

2007-06-24T18:56:00.000+08:00

As in, what the hell am I looking for?

I spend an inordinate amount of time hopping from site to site, on random quests for information...entire days go by before I remember my original mission.

And today, I discover there's an actual word for it! Yay, I'm not alone!

Up & Down & Round & Round

2007-06-23T19:05:00.000+08:00

Ongoing problems with the location. We were about to start renovation (with the landlord's agent's consent) on Wednesday morning. Received an email on Tuesday night while I was in Melaka asking me to stop the reno works until further notice.

The landlord's agent also took great offence at the email I sent them, and is now being incredibly un-cooperative and....petulant.

Words cannot describe how depressing this is. It's like being constipated and having diarrhea at the same time. Bleh.

I've learnt a lesson, though. It doesn't pay to be Little Miss Right all the time. I could have been more diplomatic and less antagonistic in my email. I was completely justified in my arguments, but I didn't have to write it from my high horse. I think that's why I felt so awful about sending it the next day, I knew I'd been a little harsh. I wasn't a bitch, but I certainly wasn't constructive either.

Anyway, I've started looking for a location up again in case Chiku road falls through. Saw some great places in Kampong Glam - I would love a shophouse there! Not least because my lil bro (related by vodka) SBTG + the Phunk boys would be just across the road and the fabulous eclecticism of Haji Lane is just round the corner.

I met with the agent who reps the area and we went to see a couple of places. All have potential, but would need a significant increase in my rental & reno budget. It's a HEAPS better location than Chiku but I have to figure out if it's worth the 75% increase in rent. I'm surprised there weren't more places available, and it occured to me this morning that perhaps many landlords choose to work without an agent to avoid having to pay commissions!

So with that in mind, I've decided to start a little campaign. I've made a little flyer (laminated and with a little ribbon :) and am going to do a few maildrops in shophouses / units that look empty in Kampong Glam. There are loads!

Let's see if anyone bites.

Birds & Bitches

2007-06-19T09:01:00.000+08:00

Ongoing problems with the new location, so I finally wrote a really bitchy note to the estate agents last night. I feel guilty about it, even though I am fully justified in writing it. But I still feel....BAD! I'm disgustingly passive-aggressive. I'd rather give someone a dirty look and the cold shoulder than confront them and talk about the problem. Thank god for email!

I also wrote to the Institute of Estate Agents last week - no bloody response! When I rang them, they dismissed my enquiries with a "sorry we're just the Secretariat and don't have any information". Hopefully someone can enlighten me on what exactly is the point of the IEA's existence if they can't answer questions by phone or email. Oh hang on, it's to look after estate agents and not the rest of us. Duh.

There really needs to be representation for buyers/tenants. Maybe there is and I just don't know about it!

Anyway we've been shopping for the office. Well, browsing. I'm so reluctant to actually commit to a purchase. Nervous!

But one thing (well, 2 things) I have bought are a pair of grey singing finches housed in beautiful antique cages. I love the sound of birdsong, it makes me happy! I plan to hang them on the office porch to welcome people who come to visit.

We've named them Tweetle Dum and Tweetle Dee.

Tweetle Dum

Tweetle Dee

I'm off to Melaka today to buy some Peranakan tiles to to use as a backsplash for the kitchen and perhaps also for the office exterior!

Mr Higgins

2007-06-14T10:10:00.000+08:00

I'd like to introduce you my favourite food critic and sidekick extraordinaire, Monsieur Higgins.

Before a tasting

After

My Very Own Food Photographer

2007-06-13T21:02:00.000+08:00

My Dolphin is such a darling. He has gone and bought himself a fantabulous camera, the Canon EOS 30D, plus a macro lens and has appointed himself my personal food photographer!

What a sweetheart! I have to admit that I had a right go at him when he came skulking him with the more expensive prosumer model because I was convinced this was just one of his phases which would go the way of his home gym, architectural scale modelling kits etc...all the things that are collecting dust and mice droppings in the storeroom.

But I'm really impressed!!

Here are a couple of shots he took like, within a week of getting the camera and no lessons or anything!!

I'm so proud :)))

Real Estate Naivete

2007-06-13T08:33:00.000+08:00

Taken from The Buyer Advocate, great representation for buyers (um, if you're in Colorado)

I haven't been sleeping well. I wake up with my fists clenched and an ache in my jaw from gritting my teeth.

The unit I preferred wasn't available, but I've taken up another unit a few doors down. It's in better condition, and the feng shui is more favourable...but the whole thing is still stressing me out because my agent is not on my side.

The brief was to find a commercial space from which I could run and operate a test kitchen. Chiku ticks many boxes but on Friday night I receive a call from my agent asking me not to proceed with license approval for the business.

Why? Because the premises aren't approved for commercial use.

I've managed to find a loophole from which to run the business (more on that later) but am very much the wiser when dealing with estate agents. Always ask if they are a seller agent or a tenant's agent. I asked the question - everyone said they work for both but now I know the difference is that a true buyer's agent will work to take their commission from the landlord. They are hard to find these days. My friend, a successful retailer has given me some of his contacts so drop me a line if you need a hook-up.

I know - WHY didn't I speak to him sooner? His abuse is still ringing in my ears. I have written to the IEA to ask for advice re tenant's rights. I could drop the agent and work direct with the landlord's agent but my conscience won't let me. She has been a huge disappointment and let down, but I'd still like to come to equitable agreement. You never know, she may offer to return the commission.

Ok, I'm not THAT frickin' naiive!!!! Hahahaha!!!

So now I have a decision to make.

We're getting the renovation quote tomorrow and I will probably make my decision on how much that comes to. If it's reasonable enough to justify the short-term then I will go for it. The pros are pretty ideal for a start-up situation and I'm confident I can find solutions for the cons.

Sigh. Where the hell is a good crystal ball when you need one??

Writing Thank You Letters (part I)

2007-06-07T19:02:00.001+08:00

**Update 8/6/07 : Comfort received the letter and rang me this morning to say they would be rewarding Danny and holding up as an example! Yay!

I'm really rubbish at making time to write Thank You notes. It's something I must address because I really appreciate great service, and am always touched and delighted when people go the extra mile for me. I've always thought that most people most people (including myself) would sit down and write a complaint to recitify a problem in a flash, but not bother to write an accolade. Why should bad behaviour always be in the spotlight, hey??

So I'm going to throw two virtual bouquets out in this forum, then cut n' paste what I've written and send it through to the Straits Times and their respective corporate customer service departments.

Mr Danny, SHA 5619H, Comfort Transportation

There is soooooo much flak about taxi drivers, I think they are probably as disliked as parking ticket wardens!

But one evening, I was really late for yoga and rang a taxi to take me from home to Ngee Ann City. When we were at the Grange Road/Orchard Boulevard I realised that Darn Bugger Drat I'd left my wallet at home!! I had 10 minutes before the class started and had to turn back to retrieve my purse. The taxi driver was sympathetic and started to indicate to turn around when we had the following conversation:

Danny "Aiya, damn leichei go all the way back then your class starting what time?"
Chrissy "In ten minutes!"
Danny "Aiyoh then you surely cannot make it. Tell you what, why don't I dropy ou off then come and collect the money from your home later. What time you finish?"
Chrissy "Hah, really? Then I run off how? Are you sure?"
Danny "Yah yah, sure. Anyway that one just now is your house right?"
Chrissy "Yah yah my house"
Danny "Then how to run off, I know where you live liao. Ho ho ha ha!"

So he dropped me off at the taxi stand and then tried to give me $10 so I could get home!!!!! Can you bloody believe it?? I was truly gobsmacked but had to refuse - how could I accept $10 from the taxi driver uncle when he'd already gone out of his way?? We exchanged numbers and I said he could come by the house at 10:30pm because my class finished at about 10pm.

But wait, there's more!!

After my yoga class, I had to ... ahem... err... call mum to come pick me up because I was stuck without money or transport. And at 10pm, Danny rang me again to say he was at Ngee Ann City waiting to take me home?!?!!!!!

*mouth drops open and eyes as wide as saucers*

And when he came over to the house to collect the taxi fare, he refused to take anything more than the exact fare even though I insisted on paying double cos he had to come back!!

If I wasn't already attached (and I was also 20 years older) I'd marry this man!!!!

So instead, I'm going to try to hire him!

Breadtalk

2007-06-06T10:12:00.001+08:00

They're a local company that really inspires me. They're constantly innovating and thinking of new ways to grow market share as well as creating new segments. This is really what innovation is about - creating new desires and needs, offering a new perspective, doing things differently and better! Food Republic & Toast Box are so much fun!

Read ieatishootipost's article on their latest addition, Breadtalk Silver.

A Pro & A Con

2007-06-05T22:06:00.000+08:00

Look at my hands.

A chiromancer would say that I think and worry far too much, and he would be right. It's in my nature to project and extrapolate, to worry a situation to bits until I feel confident I've got everything covered.

Being on my own really tests some of my limits. Today's real estate drama for instance. My natural anxiety levels double because (a) there's no-one to fall back on should things f*ck up; and (b) it's my money that I stand to lose - not an agency's or client's corporate dollars which can be written off as a tax claim at the end of the year. It's money from my own pocket.

It turns out that the unit I had looked at over the weekend was not yet available because the existing tenant had broken a contractual agreement, and the landlord had to tread lightly because of an existing relationship. So it's 70% likely they would be moving out, but they may stay if the LL and tenant come to an understanding.

If they stay, I would get another unit a couple of doors down. Not as ideal in terms of positioning, but still good.

Why did both the agents feel the need to pressure me by saying all the units had been taken up, pushing me to put down a deposit and sign an LOI before soneone else nabbed it when it wasn't the truth? *shakes head*

Now - if they had been transparent about this situation right up, it would have saved alot of grief. I would have agreed to it anyway, there was no need to bullshit me.

A Con: Starting-up means dealing with things beyond your control and bearing all the responsiblities and consequences of your decisions. There's no-one to blame or fall back on, and even if there was, you'd still have to clean up the mess.

In any case, I have decided to trust. I believe that given a choice, most people will do the right thing and I also believe in karma. I deserve to be treated with fairness so....I trust that things will work out, eternal optimist that I am!

I also came across a remarkable insight the other night as I was squirming in bed, excited about the future.

As scary as it is to take a leap of faith, there is a huge liberation and freedom once you've taken the plunge. It's so different from anything I've experienced before.

Like, when I was working it would be totally exciting waiting for the result fo a pitch, or the night before starting at a new agency. But the excitement was limited. There was a box in which everything would or could happen. A structure in place over which I had very little control. So the worst, and the best, that could happen lay within the boundaries of that constraint.

Some would think that security and risk-free environment is good.

But the way I see it - when you leap into the abyss, the world is your oyster. You are at the helm of all possibilities.

I'm a huge HUGE fan of Neil Gaiman, and no wonder because his graphic novel series, The Sandman, is about the god of Dreams. Vol. 6: Fables & Reflections opens with a story called Fear of Falling - it's about a young man who has become paralysed by fear. One night, he falls asleep and meets the Sandman in his dreams. Here is an excerpt* from that story. Click through to Flickr to read them properly.

Learn how to embed your own flickr slideshows to your blog here.

A Pro: When you fall for your dreams, sometimes you will wake. Sometimes the fall will kill you. But sometimes when you fall, you fly.

*I know I shouldn't be posting something I have no permission to use. If anyone objects, tell me and I will take it down.

Real Estate Woes

2007-06-05T13:49:00.002+08:00

I'm upset.

This property I'm so exuberant about was acquired via two co-broking agents from extremely well known agencies - ERA and Knight Frank.

I paid 1 month's agency commission to my agent, deposited 1 month's rent with the landlord's agent and signed the Letter of Intent yesterday.

Today, I discover that the property I have paid a deposit for may not be available because the previous tenant has not vacated. When I rang the landlord's agent, he was with the landlord and I overhead him say my unit is not available.

I've already paid 1 mth's commission plus 1 mth's deposit and bought the kitchen stuff. I feel naiive and dumb and am thinking about stopping those cheques :(

Am I being too kan cheong?

A Cheesy Prayer for Dreamers

2007-06-04T23:31:00.000+08:00

"Starcatching Girl" by Brother Brown featuring Frank'ee

Web 2.0 - The Machine is Us/ing Us

2007-06-03T22:29:00.000+08:00

This is kind of old news, but Prof Michael Wesch's video about Web 2.0 is so clever & creative & expanding that I wanted to post it here so I can always remember it. It's stuff like this that makes me hungry every day to learn something new.

A Prayer for the Future : When I grow up, please don't let me be afraid of technology.

Did I Mention I'm Happy??

2007-06-03T12:49:00.001+08:00

I am, I am, I am!!

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Sent from my Blackberry Wireless

Chiku Pek*

2007-06-03T11:33:00.000+08:00

Yay yay yippee yippee yay!!! *gyrates and shimmies across the room*

I found a location!! Wow wow wow! I'm so excited!

I was really quite down in the dumps on Friday because things just didn't seem to be moving, I was annoyed with myself for slacking off just because the Dolphin was home and was on the verge of sending CVs out to agencies because the Universe seemed to have lost interest. I know...D-R-A-M-A!

An agent had taken us to view Tempco Technominium in Ayer Rajah, and altho it was a nice well maintained building - it just wasn't right for us. Completely off-brand. I suppose the name should have given it away :P

Later in the evening, we had an appointment to see a place in Joo Chiat, which is out in the east. I've been a west side girl all my life, so was mainly focusing on locations in my parts and didn't have alot of expectations for this viewing. BUT I had told myself to see and be open to everything that came my way.

And wow - it was another one of those instants when you see something, or someplace - and immediately a flower blooms in your gut. Do you know the feeling? It's simliar to recognizing a good idea. It was a refurbished pre-war single level shophouse.

A List of Things that make it Perfect

Space for a kitchen
A private car park that backs right up to the back door for easy loading/unloading
It's in an uber-retro neighbourhood that is right on brand - they still have old-skool barbers and Chinese medicine halls right down the street!
The name of the road is Chiku, which is one of my favourite fruits and relevant to the NewBiz
The space is a beautiful blank canvas on which to paint all my ideals
I am surrounded by my target market who live in the neighbourhood
It's just the right size and just the right price

The shophouse exterior

A beautiful blank canvas

And guess what? We met one of the tenants (an interior design firm) and discovered he is the brother of one of my good friends and wakeboarding mentors!!! Can you bloody believe it??!

So the Dolphin and I immediately went home and drew up a rough plan.
And then the MooMoo made a FABULOUS suggestion to use the space more effectively and generate revenue in the mornings which I'm super excited about!

Oh! IKEA have this AMAZING tool they use to plan their kitchens and it's perfectly handy for planning any sort of space as well. Check it out, I've been having so much fun with it over the weekend.

And then the next day, I went for my cupcake baking class (still semi-drunk and very bleary-eyed) which I will write about in my next post. It was so much fun!

And today, I'm going shopping for the office! Yay!! I can get my KitchenAid appliances now - and if you love retro reproductions as much as I do, you'll now exactly why I'm grinning like a cheshire!

And...the Great Singapore Sale is on right now this very second!

I'm the luckiest girl in the world!

* For my non-Singaporean friends, the post title is a play on the Singlish (Singapore English) phrase "Chee Ko Pek" which means dirty old man. Hehehe....it's a perfect description for Joo Chiat which turns a darker hue of shady once the sun goes down!

Battle at Kruger

2007-06-01T10:59:00.000+08:00

Ok technically this has nothing to do with starting up but here is a wonderful parallel to be drawn with human nature, and with the vulnerable ego of a new enterprise.

The bull calf initially yields to his fate, offering no resistance. But despite being mauled by lions and tug-o-war'd by crocodiles, as soon as he sees his herd and knows that he is valued & not alone, he immediately starts to struggle and fight!! I won't ruin the ending for you, but it brought a very large tear to my eye!

How marvellous!!

Mail-to Blogger

2007-06-01T01:50:00.001+08:00

Hello? Hello? *tap tap*
Is this thing turned on?
Testing, testing 1 2 3

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Sent from my Blackberry Wireless

Need Space! Need Space!

2007-05-31T23:01:00.000+08:00

Hmmm okay, so the Institute of Estate Agents have recommended guidelines on the commission payable by landlord/tenants to the real estate agents who help you look for space, and perhaps this is why I haven't been feeling any love from the people I have contacted.

From IEA's "Professional Fee / Commission for Real Estate Agents / Agencies 2006 Reprint"

Since I'm looking for space going for less than $2500, and most estate agents have probably encountered resistance about this commission since they are only intended as guidelines and clause 1.3 in the document stipulates upfront that "This scale of professional fee/commission is not intended to restrict or interfere with any private arrangements which Agents/Agencies may have with their clients" - implying that it IS negotiable - then perhaps it's not worth the effort from the estate agent's POV, especially if co-broking is involved.

Fair 'nuff!

There's gotta be a site for agents working for the seller/landlord to list directly without having to go through a co-broker!

*Makes a note to do some real estate sleuthing tomorrow*

Palate Sensations

2007-05-31T11:27:00.000+08:00

This has been a great 2 weeks for discovering new and exciting blogs to read! I bought the Active Catering directory last week and came across Palate Sensations, a lovely culinary studio I'm dying to try out.

I'm always amazed at how things fall into your path just as you're wishing for them! I had decided a few weeks ago that the NewBiz would offer cupcakes and was scouting around for resource materials when along came Palate Sensations with their cupcake baking class perfectly adapted to my taste because while I love the idea of cupcakes, I don't often eat them because they are far too sweet!

So I'm going along to that on Saturday....yay *excited*! Must remember not to drink too much on Fri night :P

I was particularly interested in Palate because Lynnette Foo, their culinary mistress, was an ex-accountant who gave it all up to follow a dream AND writes about it in her blog AND is also born in Malaysia at the same hospital as me!

It's been fascinating reading about her travels, and her blog has provoked thought about writing about your personal feelings about business/clients because I had fully planned to continue sharing my learnings after the NewBiz is launched. I admire and applaud any brave voice and hate any form of censorship. A blog should be a medium where one should be able to express any view, to anyone, in any way they bloody well like!

But I suppose if one is to approach this from a purely marketing/branding POV then some restraint is required if you are going to be completely candid about the name & nature of your business. Cobalt Paladin talks about his frustrations but doesn't reveal the name of his business so to the Average JoeBlog, his personal viewpoints don't influence him professionally. I guess a blog, linked to a business, will ultimately be a public relations vehicle so one should be aware of the message you're selling communicating.

Well anyway, that's what I think with my marketing hat on. Personally, I agree with all of her posts - there are some awful clients out there - and besides, why should any business cater to the lowest common denominator? I have always believed that the quality of your product/service should come first and if you try to please everyone, it will only erode your production values.

And....Lynn's Lynnette's candid and sometimes vulnerable opinions has only made me look forward to meeting her more.

So there!

PS: Talking about cupcakes, I sprang out of bed this morning and spent a few anxious hours peering out of my window anticipating my first delivery of CCup's luxury gourmet cupcakes before realising they're only coming next week! Poo :(

Space

2007-05-28T13:24:00.000+08:00

OMG how hard is it to find a space to work from? I've been looking for over a month now and have briefed 3 real estate agents but...nothing!

I wonder if it's because my budget is $2500/mth and I need a space which already has, or will allow me to install a kitchen? I've been looking at renting terrace houses which allow businesses to work from, but even then it seems incredibly hard. where I'd REALLY like to be is in Chip Bee Gardens but they are unfortunately all full. I have been pestering the management agent like herpes.

I've been avoiding factory / industrial warehousing space until it's a last resort because....call me chicken....I'm starting up by myself and don't want to be working in Block 1056E in the middle of nowhere, on my own, late at night surrounded by the sounds of giant mechanical cogs grinding away around me.

A really useful site I've discovered for property listings is Rental Singapore - they have this great search engine and dozens of listings BUT their customer service is absolutely SHITE. I've rung & emailed them up numerous times over the past few months to enquire about their listings and request a viewing but they never get back to you!!
What I'm going to do from now on is just find the vacancy, then ask my own agent to sort a viewing out. Err, when I find a really good agent, that is! If anyone reading knows of anyone, pass it on will ya??

Foto-Graphee

2007-05-26T01:03:00.000+08:00

So the new biz is about food, and nothing sells food on the web better than mouth-watering pictures.

I explored three options:
1. Ripping photos off other cookbooks
2. Using stock images
3. Shootin' my own shit

I'm too much of a coward to rip photos off cookbooks because as a true Singaporean (and Rafflesian no less) I live in mortal fear of getting caught by The Authorities. Bugger the IP issues, it's all about getting in trouble.

Stock images were interesting and I looked in quite a few libraries. Most stock libaries operate on 3 licenses : rights-managed, rights-ready & royalty-free. A rights-managed picture for use in Singapore only, for 6 months, on a web page would cost about S$400 - this excludes the cost of the buying the image from the stock library. Buying royalty-free images still cost about S$80-150.....so this wasn't the greatest option for me either. And of course, you're limited to recipes that they have images of!

But if you're looking for stock images, my favourite places are Corbis, Getty Images, Age Fotostock & R. Ian Lloyd.

So it was down to shootin' my own shit. My extremely helpful and talented professional photographer friend, Amos Wong took us down to Peninsula Shopping Centre (not Peninsula Plaza!) to look at little studio set-ups.

We have our eye on the Canon EOS 400D which The Camera Workshop was selling at S$1250 incl a sd card & bag and 55mm lens.

Cathay Photo also sold a neat mini digital studio kit that comes with a table top, lights and everything for $808.50. I think that's the set-up I'm going to go for. Here are the specs below.

THANKS AMOSQUITO!!

How exciting! I got my business account ATM / debit card thingy today and can start purchasing stuff on the company!!!

Someone keep me away from Chloe's new 2007 Paddington satchel because...err, well, you know, I need a bag to carry the camera.....

When the Student is Ready, the Teacher will Appear

2007-05-25T23:13:00.001+08:00

Isn't it funny how taking one step leads to another...and another...and another?

I recently stumbled across Cobalt Paladin's blog, A Long and Arduous Road of an Entrepreneur and have been reading, and learning.

I spent many months this past year fretting about my lack of mentors, wishing I knew more like-minded people, eager to learn from the experience of others who have taken a leap of faith and given it all up. One of the reasons I started writing this blog was the hope that my frustration now could reduce someone else's anxiety in the future. Maybe several years down the line (when I actually had some real-life lessons to share!) someone wide-eyed & bushy-tailed, yet scared and unsure will trip across this on his/her travels and know they aren't alone. Or maybe even reach out to me for help.

Cobalt's blog has filled a little void in me, and opened up a network of other entrepreneurial bloggers in Singapore that I hope to be able to learn from. He is 6-7 years into his business, and has chronicled his journey from small decisions to big ones. What I admire, and take inspiration from is not the success or failure of his enterprise, or how big his company has grown...but how he has learned about himself, and retained his humanity despite the temptation of success.

I think there is a seed in all of us bloggers to share, and teach, and inspire. There is, of course, a certain vanity in sharing my voice with you (it's no coincidence practically every paragraph starts with "I"!).....but I don't write to look in the mirror. I write for for my friends, and for my future children, and anyone who has ever been in my shoes even for a moment.

I write for dreamers.

I write for you.

So. To Cobalt, who writes in the early hours when the world is sleeping and his son is ill and the responsibilities of his business are bruising a tattoo on his soul, it's not for nothing. Thank you.

Things to do on a Bleh Day #1: Make a Wallpaper

2007-05-24T17:05:00.001+08:00

Alt-click the picture to save as a 1440x900 wallpaper

"La Vie en Rose...Indien" by Pascal of Bollywood

I was feeling a little unmotivated, a little discouraged. Finding it hard to be productive today. Perhaps it's the on-the-verge-of-rain weather we've been having. Or the Macdonald's I had for lunch.....

So I made a desktop wallpaper just for fun. Hehe it's really perked me up! And then MooMoo contributed the perfect sountrack.....enjoy!

Momentum

2007-05-21T22:29:00.001+08:00

wOOt!!! I opened a bank account today!

One of the hardest things about keeping an idea alive is simply that life just gets in the way. I have to continue freelancing to help finance the start-up (as well as to pay off credit card bills) and paid work has to take priority over personal pursuits.

The problem is, the more time I spend away from The Idea, the more the passion fades and what started as something I had to do, becomes something I might do....and then the voice of doubt creeps in saying "well, maybe not" and then....the idea is just another notebook on the shelf. It's happened to me enough times in the past to realise that there are 2 important things I have to do to keep the momentum going.

(1) Goal setting
It's not enough to have a general idea in your head. You have to write it down.

I've read quite a few books and attended seminars that always refer to statistics from a Harvard Business School study on goal setting. I can't seem to find a report of the actual study ... but basically a group of Harvard graduates were asked if they had goals and, if so, were they written down?

3% had written their goals down, 11% had goals but had not written them down and 86% had not yet established goals.

Twenty years later, they polled the same group. The 11% who had goals (but not written down) were making twice as much as the 86% who had no goals. However, the 3% who had written down their goals were making 10 times more than the average of all the other graduates…and 98% of all the wealth resided with that same 3%!

My friend Adelina invited me to a Finexis seminar on achieving targets, and one of the exercises was goal setting. It made a difference. Writing them down makes them tangible and forces you to plan, enabling you to take physical first steps towards getting there.

Anyway, I don't know how other people write their goals but this is how I did mine. The long term goals are at the very end, and there are little goals to get there. I call it my Grand Master Plan. This GMP was for plain. Who says goals have to be in black and white?

I've put a blank .png template here - you're super welcome to adapt it for yourself!

(2) Take action that makes you accountable to someone else
Once the goals have been set, I could look at them forever and not get anywhere. I'm the sort of person who is extremely lazy and irresponsible when it comes to myself. I'm much better when I have someone else to answer to.

So after I've done my homework, double-checked my numbers and set my goals....I need to commit to them. With my last idea, I told Adelina my goals and told her to whup my ass if I didn't stick to them. That didn't work because we all knew she wouldn't really whip my ass, and when she started nagging too much I just avoided her.

Hmmm.

This time round I've wizened up and have managed to stay committed by putting my money where my mouth is. I've engaged a web developer and committed moolah. I've told enough people about it to be seriously embarrassed if I don't get anywhere. I've accepted huge generosities from supportive friends. I've registered the business. I've started writing this blog.

I've basically made it very hard for myself to back out. So even if I slack off because of everyday responsibility, or laziness, or inertia, or any one of a1001 reasons...there'll be someone, or something to kick my ass.

Why have I made things so difficult for myself?

Because I really, really, really want this and don't want my stupid old self to get in the way again.

Managing Expectations

2007-05-16T07:11:00.000+08:00

I've been a little frustrated with an ongoing project. Why don't project managers tell the truth when it comes to timing? As the expert, they should know how long it takes to do x or search for y or edit z. There's no excuse to agreeing to delivering by a certain date, when you know jolly well the reality is that another 24 hours is needed to achieve the goal.

It creates so much unnecessary aggravation when you commit to a specific timing, then can't meet it. Or worse still, allow the aforementioned time to come and go without a peep of explanation.

I guess we've all been there - God knows I've shied away from telling a client the truth but a couple of times of doing that and watching my credibility deteriorate cured me of that bad habit!

It is important. People rely on you. There is a chain of events that are set according to that date that involve people, time & cost. Now, having experienced both sides of being a client and a provider (I like that word so much better than "supplier") - I appreciate the value of setting expectations even more.

I believe that most of the time, people are reasonable. Especially when you know what you're doing, and can explain why you can't build that space shuttle in 24 hours.

The Intranet Journal sums up the Six Keys to Successfully Managing Expectations perfectly - I'll be bookmarking that page for the NewBiz!

An Ode to the Idea

2007-05-09T09:02:00.000+08:00

It's the break of dawn. A shaft of sunlight escapes through the sliver in the curtains. It pierces the membrane of your eyelids and stirs you into waking. You crack your eyes open and squint into the sunlight and you:
(a) mutter an expletive and pull the duvet over your head
(b) blink & yawn and roll over to find something (or someone) to delay you from getting out of bed
(c) flutter your eyelashes for a second and then throw back the covers with a YODELIDIHOO and hit the ground running

I'm sure the answer is (d) all of the above for most of us, but what makes the difference? For me, it's whether I've got an idea igniting my veins.

Before we embark on any sort of enterprise, I suppose one has to have a reasonable gem of an idea. For me, an idea always starts with a need. That flash of frustration and the question "Gosh, wouldn't it be great if...." and then the magic starts.

First, my brain starts going tick...tock...tick..tock.tick.tock.ticktockticktockttttt...

I see solutions like images rifling through my head like a flipbook, almost creating a breeze. It slows on some pages, and on others the picture barely registers.

The moment comes when I know the perfect solution is near. It feels like searching for an itch in the dark, your fingernails probing closer, your skin prickling with the anticipation of finding that sweet spot.

Then....I see it. The idea illuminates my skull and raises goosebumps. If it's a really great idea, I can literally feel every root of hair on my head. There's an excitement in my gut, butterflies that verge on nausea. My heart explodes miniature fireworks as my fingers itch for a pen to start scribbling with.

That's always how it happens. Whether it's during a creative review and concepts are being thrown on the table. Or it's a problem I've been mulling about that slowly hatches a solution over the course of a few days. Sometimes it happens when my mind is unclenched, like at yoga. Sometimes I see something, a signboard, an item of clothing, a colour and it starts a chain reaction....

There are always two constants - a beginning and an end.
It always begins with a need, and ends with illumination.

I don't know how other people judge ideas. I suppose there are those that judge it with a rational mind - adding formulae and scribbling on a mental chalkboard until x = y.

I guess I'm more like the other kind. Like the archer who knows the second she releases the bow, the arrow will be true. Or the golfer who knows the instant his club connects with the ball.

Here are some of the ideas I've had in the past, and how they came to light.

Note: I struggled with putting my ideas out for show & tell. They're kinda fragile. And my inner kiasu is screaming not to, in case someone steals the idea. But you know what, I think they deserve their moment in the spotlight. If someone steals them, oh well - I'll have others. But if anyone thinks they're any good, maybe we can do something together and everyone will be happy (most of all, the idea!). So here they are, in no particular order...because ideas don't respond well to favourtism, they have an ego all of their own.

Mashed potato is my favourite food of all time. I can make about a zillion different flavours. When I'm sick, or hungover, it's all I want to eat. So when I was undergoing radiation (and before I temporarily lost my tastebuds) my throat was really dry and lots of foods were off limits. All I wanted was mash! So I had an idea to set up a chain of take-away stores that served different flavoured mashed potato, all homemade from fresh russet burbanks, that are dispensed like ice cream! You get a creamy swirl in a cup and then can pick your "flake" which would little sausage chipolatas. Mmmmmmm nourishing creamy goodness in a cup! YUM YUM! The other name I had for it was I Scream Mash but I never went as far as to develop a logo for it.

The idea of lovebugs was hatched when I was on the coach on the way to Malaysia to attend gradnfather's funeral. It was the first funeral of anyone in my immediate circle and even though I wasn't close to "gong-gong", it affected me alot because all I could see was the day it would be my beloved granny or my parents. I thought that it would be so great to have a moment preserved in history, personal voice messages just for you that last forever captured in beautiful handcrafted toys, or lovebugs. About a year later, I saw some cheap, nasty Made in Chian voice recordable toys being sold at Guardian Pharmacy and felt so sad that they had missed the importance and value of a personal message given in a time of need.

plain was conceived when Chris and I moved house and were setting up my home office. I was at Popular bookshop looking for stationary and frustrated that everyday stationary was so frivolous. Nothing matched my design aesthetic. Do I really want a herd of bug eyed pandas prancing along my ruler? The cool minimalist stationary was just so expensive! So I thought "wouldn't it be great if Apple met Muji and started up a line of clever stationary? So I designed a whole range of wicked products for plain, including my super favourite idea - white staples that would camouflage into paper when you stapled it. And my best friend Kaapi designed the logo. Love it!!!!!!! OH PLEASE will someone do this with me?? I got stuck because I didn't have a clue how to find manufacturers!

I love dogs and have a bull terrier and a french bulldog whom I love to bits. I cook for my dogs, minced chicken with garden vegetables and pasta, shephards pies etc. I often wished there were some great, unique products for pets in Singapore. Like, handmade baskets and stitched woollen blankets, or wonderful handpainted ceramic bowls, beautiful leather collars/leads and homecooked food. So I wanted to build a premium brand for pets. Part of the concept would be to sell puppies from responsible breeders (NO PUPPY FARMS, she screams!!!!!!!) and have a huge grassy compound where they would run loose and play with each other and have their own kennels to sleep at night (NO GLASS BOXES, she screams!!!!!!).

Shelter was hatched from an experience in Bali. We were at a spa and they had a wonderfully designed massage bed which looked beautifully "designy" but was perfectly functional as well. I thought "wouldn't it be great to have an ultra-reasonable massage place in Singapore?". We have lots of spas and massage palces but they usually fall within two extremes - super high end and ultra cheap & cheerful (especially cheerful for the men!). This idea almost went all the way, but my timing was off and when it came down to execution, the market was already flooded with mid-ranged massage destinations AND the labour market was also saturated with China girls with questionable morals. I'm generalising, I know and I apologise for this. But it is a reality in the massage industry, unfortunately.

Ok I'll stop now because if I keep going this post will go on forever. Before I go, I want to leave you with a great link that offers suggestions on how to nurture an idea till it bears fruit.

May your ideas live long and prosper.

PS: This post is about getting ideas. Not about turning them into a reality - I'm still trying to figure that one out!

An Unproductive Week

2007-05-05T12:44:00.000+08:00

I've hardly done anything for the newbiz this week. How disappointing - it's the downside for having to work to finance your enterprise. I've been working pretty full-on on a freelance project for my old boss/ex-agency but I'm not really complaining because this job will pay for the web development and the design of the corporate identity!

I know when it's been an unproductive week because I hardly get anything crossed off my To Do List. I write one at the beginning of every week and it's so helpful for planning your days. I have a pack of fat Crayola crayons that I use to cross items off when they're completed - immensely gratifying to feel that waxy stripe sliding along the page! Here's my list for this week.

I hate weeks like this when I've hardly crossed anything out!

If you want the template, just alt-click here (or right click and Save As). It's a word docco that you can drop your logo on. Hamster is the name of my freelance project management business - cos I jus' git on dat wheel!

Oi - don't laugh at my time management strategies! I am the most undisciplined, lazy, prone to procrastination person I know and I have to resort to all sorts of tricks to fool myself into working. Here's another one : The Kitchen Timer. I have a very short attention span and sometimes when I'm right up against a deadline and have to make myself work I'll negotiate with myself. One hour of solid working (NO Second Life, NO JT's Blocks, NO blogging) and then I can go out and play. I know - how old am I, 9?!?!

It works though. I've managed to hypnoptise myself into loving the tick-tick-tick-tick sound the timer makes as it's counting down - it really gets me in the mood. Hey, did anyone ever watch Ch. 4's Countdown with Carol Vorderman & Richard Whiteley? Loved that show!

This handy kitchen timer cost me about S$5 at Takashimaya's kitchen dept

The Story of Me (IX): The End of Yesterday

2007-05-02T09:07:00.000+08:00

So it's June 2006. If there's one thing good about a life-changing illness, it's that it changes your life! I wanted to learn something new, and have a proper go at making my ideas a reality. I had a window of opportunity because I was still relatively young, no kids, no mortgage and no-one to be responsible for except myself.

I'd also read an interview my friend Wykidd had given in the local paper about how it's the doing that counts. Essentially, all talk and no action = lame-ass. That really resonated with me because I was getting to the point where I'd tell my friends about Idea #281 and see their eyes glaze over "oh there she goes again with one of her hare-brained schemes". Actually, that pretty much sums up how disappointed I was in myself that I'd never executed any of my ideas.

There were also changes happening within my agency network, and my beloved boss had relocated to China so I read them all as the Universe nudging me to take that leap of faith.

I read Robert Kiyosaki's Before You Quit Your Job, an easily-digestible collection of real life lessons to prep you for a life of enterprise. It's part of the Rich Dad Poor Dad series so be warned - if you've read his other books it's very repetitious. It received mixed reviews but if you're an aspiring entrepreneur like me, it's pretty insightful. If you've already had experience with enterprise, you're not going to learn anything new.

Robert Kiyosaki also referenced an excellent article on the concept and definition of entrepreneurship in a modern day context by Harvard Professor Howard H. Stevenson. A Perspective on Entrepreneurship is available here from Harvard Business Online and outlines behavour between two extremes: "...the promoter who feels confident in his or her ability to seize opportunity regardless of the resources under current control....(and) the trustee who emphasizes the efficient utilization of existing resources".

I reproduce a summary here, without permission, to encourage you to purchase the article if you seek guidance on whether you tend more towards entrepreneurial or administrative behaviour.

(click to enlarge)

And so we conclude The Story of Me and how I got here. Thank God, I was getting bored of being so bloody retrospective!!! Yawn. Oh, but I want to tell you about my exploration into MBAs in my next post, but that'll be IT with the history lesson. I gotta get back into today stuff. Bye!

The Story of Me (VIII): The One Less Traveled By

2007-05-01T09:33:00.000+08:00

(Click to enlarge)

The gorgeous mural in the poem header is designed
by James Lim at Daytime LLP (formally known as Align Left)

There is a point to this long and rambling epic. My last post wasn't really to trumpet what an incredible fighter I am. I don't want to be known as That Girl Who Had Cancer. For the same reason I've been putting off that boob job because I don't want to be That Girl With The Fake Tits. My plan is to wait till I have a kid and then get the augementation so that I'll be That Girl Whose Boobs Never Deflated After The Baby.

Whoops, I think I've just given the game away. Um, where was I?

This is supposed to be a diary of a start-up, not my pseudo memoirs. Since I don't know how it's going to end, better to think of this as a Choose My Own Adventure.

The point I wanted to illustrate is I never had a plan, or a mission to do anything. I come to conclusions based to discovering what I don't want to do. It's a long and bothersome road, but I am who I am, there's not much choice in the matter. If you're like me, then the only option for you is to try anything and everything. You can't be directionless AND unadventurous because then you're not going anywhere. I really envy those people with A Mission. My sister has A Mission - she's a great doctor, had an aptitude for the studies and loves the work. She doesn't have to think too much because she's got her roadmap.

But for people like us, there is no such luxury. You have to explore, follow a track as far as it will go and be willing to retrace your steps if it doesn't work out. Because unfortunately, I don't want to follow the beaten path. I never did. It was so hard to decide on an educational stream or course of study, to lock myself into a profession for life. I always grew bored of highways and well-lit roads because a million people had already been down that path. I could see the end before I began. There was no adventure, only .... only precedent.

It takes alot of courage to accept this about ourselves. It's in our genetic make-up to strive for security, we have responsibilities, we want things. Material things, designer clothes, holidays...

The first time I left my agency to try to pursue my ambition, I failed miserably. I tiptoed around aimlessly for about a month before grabbing the next job that came along because it was all so scary! The fear kept me from wandering too far away from the streetlamp and I just didn't have the guts.

But there is some consolation. If you apply yourself to every task that comes along, nothing you do is wasted. Every avenue I've explored, every track I've sniffed down has produced a result in one form or another. Learning builds confidence. I can backtrack every idea, every thought within an idea to a wrong turning I made somewhere in my life. Making mistakes primes you. In fact, mistakes are absolutely crucial.

So celebrate every bad decision, every fault, every blunder because before anything else, you must conquer your fear of failure.
And the only way to do that is to fail*.

*Ummm....needless to say please learn from those failures otherwise that's just dumb.

The Story of Me (VII) : The Big C

2007-04-28T22:00:00.000+08:00

*Update 3/5/07
This post is so darned serious that it should be prefaced with a bit of humour

Even though I was doing well, there was still something niggling away at me. Like the feeling you have at a restaurant, when the meal you've ordered has arrived....and it's good...but you can't stop looking over at the next table cos you know you really wanted that bloody rib eye instead of the poached fish.

I quit my agency at one point, fed up with the politics and full of my own ambition to start up one of my ideas. But I lacked the courage and the confidence at the time. I didn't have any direction. I wasn't ready and unable to let go of the security a steady paycheck brings (and all the things you can buy with it). I wasn't ready to take any sort of risk. Lacked the maturity and discipline. I guess I was a pro at my job, but still an amateur when it came to my life. I didn't want it enough.

Then in 2005, during a yoga retreat we were practising self-awareness within our physical body when I became aware of this slight heaviness on the side of my face. I looked in the mirror and ... you know how when you've stared at something so long you don't see it anymore? I really SAW my face properly and noticed there was a swelling on the right, under my ear into my jaw. I didn't think much of it because it didn't hurt but went to see a doctor anyway.

He sent me for an MRI and the results shocked my entire family into silence. We immediately took the scans to the director of the National Cancer Centre in Singapore and he said"it was the worst case of salivary gland tumours" he had ever seen. There were literally hundreds of them infesting the right side of my head. Who would have thought there was so much space in my head for them??

The good news was I wasn't going to die. The bad news - to get rid of them would require extensive surgery. He would start by slicing down the side of my face from the top of my ear down to my jaw, then along my neck until under my chin, then up my chin to the cleft of my lip whereupon he would get a saw and split my head open like a watermelon (or like the Predator) and then cut away all the tumours. The surgery would most likely result in some of my facial nerves being severed resulting in permanent paralysis to the right side of my face.

Unacceptable.

We went to see every single head & neck cancer specialist in Singapore - they said the same thing. We sent the scans to specialists in Australia, they couldn't offer guarantees.

How can I explain my conviction this was not the only way? That somewhere there would be a surgeon who would be willing to use every bit of technology and time and sweat to peel away every last tumour without cutting the facial nerve? This was my fucking face. The way I communicate with the world. The mirror to my soul.

It was a hard time. Getting your hopes up every time you heard of a great surgeon. The disappointment when they see the scans and you watch their expressions change. The crash when they say the same thing. It wasn't easy falling asleep at night during that period.

But finally....finally! We found a surgeon in London who looked at my MRI and he said "I'll bet you've been to see lots of doctors and they've said this was the worse they've seen. Well, this isn't the worst I've seen." Do you believe me when I say it felt better than winning the lottery?

So Mr David Howard operated, and it took ten hours and he didn't have to split my head open nor cut my facial nerve. But guess what, my face was still paralysed at the end of it. And the recovery was fucking hard. It sucked having people stare at me. And it sucked not seeing friends in a long time and watching them do a double take. It was a real bitch going from being pretty to being different. But I could take it. Because I knew we had done everything we could possibly do to influence the outcome. We did our bloody best.

Don't get me wrong, there were days when I felt so fucking sorry for myself I wouldn't be able to get out of bed. But I would give myself permission to wallow for the day - watch movies that make me cry. Write Hate entries in my diary. Yell at my parents. Yell at my boyfriend. Whatever. But I'd only allow myself a 1-day pity party. I'd force myself get up the next. If I wasn't strong enough to see friends, then I'd take my sorry ass to a cafe and read. I made myself participate, however small the ways.

So here's the thing.

If you believe, then keep looking until you find the answer or at the very least, enough evidence to convince you that you're wrong. I could never have stepped into that operating theatre not knowing I'd exhausted every route - how could I endure the outcome otherwise?

Never ask "why me". I didn't ask "why me" when good things happened. Why should I question the bad things? Just don't waste your energy because there are plenty of other things to fret about, believe me.

Take control. I spent hours reading every medical journal, patients' forum and textbooks about my disease. We became very well acquainted, my tumours and I. Some people hide their head in the sand, scared by their disorders. You own the disease. Never let the disease own you.

Accept the diagnosis but challenge the prognosis. There are always alternatives. You pick the best option for you.

Never be a victim. It's not a good look and.....it's kind of pathetic.

Don't let other people tell you how you feel. My mum (bless her heart) kept telling me how sick I was. Not to do this, not to eat that. I didn't want to be a sick person. I trusted my body to tell me to rest when it needed to, and I listened to it. There's no need for other people to tell you what you can, or cannot do.

Do not let your illness define you. Once you let that happen, you're well & truly screwed. I loved the sympathy. It was tempting to say "but...but....BUT I HAVE CANCER!" when things didn't go my way. But don't you dare. I was really active in one of the best patient forums for parotid gland tumours, it was a wonderful support group. But there were members who had been there for years. Still talking about their disease long after it had gone. Reliving their ordeal over & over. Your disease is not your friend. It's an unwanted houseguest that has long overstayed their welcome - don't cling on to it because you think it's all you have.

My mum would say be thankful to God. I say God will only take you so far. The rest is up to you.

Things to be happy for:

The most amazing family, boyfriend & moomoo in the world
My friends, especially Lonzo, James and Mark, who let me be and understood when I didn't want to come out and play
An amazing boss who looked after me every way she could, and more (thanks Caro!)
The privilege of being able to look overseas for surgeons
Strength of character
A sunny disposition
An ego that won't stay down
An unfailing sense of humour
Books, my constant companion for life
The bullying and lonliness of my youth that made me strong
Every guy who rejected me because they opened the doors for Chris, who held my hand and peeled my grapes every step of the way

Here I am today.

The Story of Me (VI) : Corporate Chrissy

2007-04-26T22:25:00.000+08:00

After university, my friends and I got down to seriously avoiding responsibility. We were young, a little reckless, feeling grownup and lived a brief life of excess until one of us ended up in rehab.

It was a wake-up call and forced us to take control of this next stage in our lives. Again, decisions to be made. Barrister or solicitor? LPC or the Bar? Pupillage or articles?

I opted for none of the above.

Law school was fun because things made sense. It was so rational, so analytical. Poking holes in arguments is so much FUN (my boyfriend hates it)! But it wasn't something I could commit my life too. I acknowledged pretty early on that my lack of interest would have produced a very mediocre lawyer.

I ended up in an ad agency as an account executive. And did pretty well for myself because I loved it. I loved the creativity, the consumer insights, the hands-on production, the design. The cleverness of it all. I loved how it was all about forging new paths, new ideas, doing things that haven't been done before.

I loved the learning, it kept me so motivated and interested, and the end of every job well done was so gratifying! Watching the ads on TV or in print, watching the reactions of people who saw them, winning awards....

I started in 1999 with no advertising/marketing experience whatsoever as an Account Executive (basically a glorified personal assistant) on the princely sum of S$1800/mth (approx US$1000 at today's rates). By 2004, I was an account director looking after blue chip brands like Coca-Cola and Johnson & Johnson for Asia Pacific on a six-figure annual salary.

I was privileged to work under some amazing bosses from whom I learnt all my good habits - Kerry & Laurent, Matt, Joff & Caroline* have been the most amazing role models. But I also did well for myself because I was passionate, I worked hard and I genuinely cared about the job, the client, the process. I've been in countless fights with colleagues, proper screaming rages, because the job matters so much.

Moral of the story: You have to give a shit
Giving a Shit => Passion => Commitment => Working Hard => Becoming a Pro
And I'm not talking about being a professional like a lawyer or a doctor (ie by my parent's definitions!)

In The War of Art, Steven Pressfield distinguises the professional from the amateur best:

"The amateur plays for fun. The professional plays for keeps.
To the amateur, the game is his avocation. To a pro it's his vocation.
That amateur plays part-time, the professional full-time.
The amateur is a weekend warrior. The professional is there seven days a week."

Striking it out on your own is a scary road. There will be many, many challenges. If you're not a professional you may never make it. Even if you do, you'll never be as good as the pro next to you. And to turn into a pro, you need to really care. Otherwise you'll just be faking it.

There are countless success stories of entrepreneurs who have 'made it' without having worked a day in their lives for anyone else. They pride themselves on never selling out to the corporate beast. Good for them.

But for me, my years as Corporate Chrissy taught me how to be a pro.

*Kerry Fitzgerald & Laurent Garnier, my account manager & director first at APL, then at Batey Ads for the Mercedes-Benz account from 1999-2001
Matt Bartelsian, my group account director at Lowe Singapore on the Zuji account from 2000-2001
Joff Carter, my CEO at Quickcut from 2002-2004
Caroline Slocombe, my regional business director at Lowe Asia-Pacific for BPW & J&J from 2004-2006

The Story of Me (V) : Legal Spreadeagle

2007-04-26T18:10:00.000+08:00

Luckily for cat-with-nine-lives me the school term in Australia starts in Feb but in the UK, term starts in September. Just enough time to apply and switch course/schools/countries AGAIN!

This time, I picked Law. Why? Because my mum was a lawyer and she told me to.

But the difference this time was that it was actually something I could do! Holy moly mother of macaroni!

The University of Bristol was brilliant fun. My confidence returned because I got it. Classes didn't leave me feeling stupid and frustrated. Things made sense. I could see a point to them. I was engaged.

Moral of the Story: Know what you're good at
Even if you don't have a clue what to do or where to go with it, acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses. What do you like doing? What jobs/tasks feel like fun? What kind of things make you procrastinate? We don't live in a perfect world and will never find a situation that ticks every box. But if you're a round peg, you'll never fit into that square hole no matter what anyone says. I've read job-interview strategy books that 'coach' people into saying things the employer wants to hear when the infamous strength/weaknesses question pops up. WTF? Why bother pretending to be something you're not - you'll only disappoint in the end.

It sounds bloody obvious but look at how long it took me to figure it out. Not all of us consciously know what we're good at doing...I certainly didn't. I kinda stumbled upon it. But there are a whole bunch of psychometric tests available on the internet. Tickle has a Classic IQ test which is pretty fun to do and free, and tests your right/left brain skills. There's an incredibly helpful job-hunting book called What Colour is Your Parachute? that helps you consolidate your aptitude and choices.

Ok this is NOT THE WAY you should do things, but it's the best example I can give to show how much a difference it makes to do something you have an aptitude for. In my first year, I was having waaayyy too much fun and hardly made it to any classes. I got a letter halfway through the 3rd term requesting an official letter of withdrawal if I had dropped out. Needless to say I failed the end of year exam. BUT I applied myself for the re-sits a month later and studied those SWOT books (they're legal textbooks that have been summarised down to the bare principles). And I passed. This is law school - that shit is HARD. "Getting it" enables you to understand in 1 hour what would otherwise take months, if ever.

Knowing what you're good at isn't going to magically reveal the meaning of life or the secret of your destiny. But I think any decision should start from here, be it brainstorming a new biz idea or choosing a career or deciding on a course. It will save you alot of grief down the road!

The Story of Me (IV) : Who, What, Where?

2007-04-25T21:07:00.000+08:00

My 2 years in Sydney, first at SCECGS Redlands then at the University of Sydney reaffirmed the fact that I still didn't have a clue what I was doing and where I was going. Never quite fit into SCECGS. I matriculated with good grades but nevertheless disappointing considering what I was capable of . Had no idea what what degree to pursue at Uni and forced into making a decision, I chose Accountancy because one of my parents said that it was a good degree to have under my wing.

Pity no-one thought my numerical dyslexia might get in the way. One term into the first year I realised what a dreadful mistake I'd made. Again. Faced with spreadsheets crawling with numbers that would literally move into different places everytime I looked at it, I escaped into books and unfulfilling relationships. Trying a little bit of this, having a taste of that....but finding nothing that satiated me.

I haven't even kept pictures from this period of limbo. I made some great friends but was as directionless as ever, and starting to take some knocks to my self-esteem because in spite of everyone's high hopes for me I just did not know what I was supposed to do! I was just treading water.

Everyone else seemed to have a plan. Where the hell was mine???

The Story of Me (III) : Teen Angst

2007-04-25T19:00:00.000+08:00

When I was 11, I moved over into the local school system. Tanglin Junior was too expensive and the path would lead to the International Baccalaureate. My parents are both educated in the UK and firmly believed in 'O' Levels! So I switched across to Henry Park Primary School which was just around the corner from our condo. I had to take an entrance exam in English, Maths & Science. The curriculum at Tanglin Junior was vastly different and I failed miserably in Maths and Science. Miserably. Like, 5/100 marks or something as pathetic. BUT I scored 99/100 in my English test which I'm sure is the only reason I was admitted, albeit to the lowest-ranked class with all the other delinquents.

Henry Park was a turning point for me. No more bullying!!! I really came into my own and moved from the lowest-ranked class to the top class in the space of a few months. Our school system imposes national exams at every educational stage to judge admittance into the next phase. We had the Primary School Leaving Exams (PSLEs) and I ended up being the top scorer for my year, achieving 277 points in a year where the national high score was 281.

I am often grateful to my parents' decision to move me. They were clueless about the bullying, even then I wasn't much of a complainer! But I think if I had stayed at Tanglin Junior School and moved on to United World College, I might have always remained in the shadows. Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows?

My PSLE score ensured entrance into one of Singapore's best secondary schools, Raffles Girls', and thus began my journey into adolescence. Boys were a great way to get the attention I missed during the early years!!!! Books, less so :P I count many blessings in the opportunities that have shaped my life - RGS is one of them. I'm so easily influenced and RGS provided such a safe environment to grow in, tempering my natural risk-taking with prudent sensibilities. I was a very rebellious teen and drove my mother mad with my revolt, got into lots of trouble but somehow, always landed safely.

Needless to say I didn't repeat the sparkling honours in my 'O' Levels as I did at the PSLEs, but I did well enough to get into Raffles Junior College.

Streaming is a promiment feature of the Singapore education system. They believe that all students are not created equal, and children are seperated by ability. Yeap, it's controversial! But one of the by-products is the need to decide from early on what you want to do with the rest of your life because one must choose what 'stream' to elect i.e. Science, Arts etc. At 30, I still didnt know what I wanted to do with the rest of my life much less at sixteen! I was still trying to figure out which boys were good to kiss!

I figured since I love my granny very much, and wanted to be able to look after and cure her of all ailments when she got older and I also like helping people (it's an Aquarian thing) "Hey, why not be a doctor?"

So I opted in for the Triple Science stream - Physics, Biology, Chemistry. Pity no-one told me I actually had to be a left-brainer and have an aptitude for Science. I could see myself headed straight for failure at the 'A' Levels so my family huddled and we re-strategised. It was too late to switch streams at RJC because I would waste a year, so I decided to zip over to Sydney and matriculate in 1 year, re-selecting my core subjects.

The Story of Me (II) : The Early Years

2007-04-25T16:37:00.001+08:00

I was born in Malaysia in 1974, and when I was 4 years old my parents moved the family to London. We lived in a little red brick apartment off High Street Kensington. The building had one of those antiquated lifts with cast-iron gates you had to use all your strength to clang close before the lift would start. We lived on the top floor and I would race my parents up - them in the juddery lift and me legging it up the stairs. I usually won.

I went to a small chapel school called Allandale where they force-fed us stodgy rice pudding every lunch time. I still live in mortal fear of THE RICE PUDDING *retch* I remember Allandale being huge at the time, but when I went back as a grown-up, it just looked like an after-thought.

The family then moved us to Singapore when I was about 9, and I spent a few years in Tanglin Junior School (now known as Tanglin Trust), a school for expat kids. I was bullied mercilessly for being Chinese in a mostly white school. There were only a few of us at the time, and kids can be MEAN! Many of them lived in the same condominium, and when we were all let off from school, I wasn't allowed to go up in the lift with them. The few times I tried, I'd be violently shoved back out, arms pinwheeling, skidding on my bum, skirt flying up, sounds of laughter.

There are many things I remember from that time, but most of all, I remember always being alone. Playing by myself behind the apartment blocks. Swimming in the pool practising holding my breath underwater. Exploring. Inventing my own games. Seeking refuge in books.

My sister was too young to be good company at the time and besides, we were bitter rivals!

I believe this is where the seeds of my independent nature grew. I developed roots within myself, learnt how to water them and preserve them in times of drought. Now, I'm not afraid of being alone.

The Story of Me (I) : No-One Special

2007-04-25T16:36:00.001+08:00

A dunce then, and still a dunce now

This is a blog about my dreams and the bumpy road to make them a reality.

I'm an ordinary girl, living an ordinary life. I haven't been gifted with extraordinary drive or focus. I'm not a genius. I don't have access to a million-dollar trust fund. I don't have any particular talent or skill. I've never had a calling to do anything. My parents aren't self-made gajillionaires that mentor me. I have no ties to Ong Beng Seng.

I'm no-one special.

But I hope. I believe. I reach.
I also doubt. I fear. I fail.

I've read countless books on starting a business - but for some reason, it always seemed as though the entrepreneurs already had a clue to begin with. Or endless pits of money. Or an MBA. Or endless energy. Or were fantastic salesman that never stayed down...but how do ordinary people do it??? Correction - how do ordinary people full of doubt and fear of the unknown do it?

So I wanted to chart my progress - my successes, my failures, my learnings - to encourage you, aspiring entrepreneur, and also to share my resources and ideas. And whether I succeed in this venture or fail miserably, or never get it off the ground....here's proof I tried.

But first gather around, children. Let me tell you a little about me and the long, winding road I took to arrive at today.